WORLD'S FINEST COMICS #174; March 1968; DC Comics (National Periodical Publications); Mort Weisinger, editor; featuring Superman and Batman in "Secret of the Double Death-Wish!", written by Cary Bates and drawn by Pete Costanza with inks by Jack Abel. (Review based on the black and white reprint of this story appearing in SHOWCASE PRESENTS WORLD'S FINEST, Vol. 4, published 2012. On the cover drawn by Neal Adams (who was becoming DC's regular go-to guy for covers around this time), Batman and Superman are both cowering before two unshown figures pointing high-tech guns, and begging, not to be spared, but to be slain; "Go ahead and kill us... we INSIST!" "Yes... both of us must be EXECUTED-- at once!" Somehow I have the feeling this is one of those issues where the "shocking" cover scene was dreamed up first and then the editor and writer had to scramble to somehow build a story around the scene.
Review by Bill Henley (yes, I know I said I wasn't going to review any of the stories from the WF Showcase. I changed my mind.)
On the splash page, Superman is cowering before images of Luthor, Brainiac, Toyman and Prankster; "The faces of my WORST ENEMIES-- mocking me!" (Curiously, at this point Toyman and Prankster had hardly appeared to battle Superman for many years, except in an Annual reprint or two, and were hardly recognizable as among the Man of Steel's "worst enemies". But then, Supes' rogues gallery was pretty thin once you got past Luthor and Brainiac.) Batman is stuck in what appears to be a dentist's chair with humanoid arms holding him, as bats flutter around him; "I'm being haunted by my OWN NAMESAKE!"
As the story proper begins, Clark Kent has no more concerns more dire than whether his new reporting assignment from Perry White will involve "another interview with a crackpot who thinks the earth is flat!" But then, while riding a crowded elevator in the Daily Planet office, Kent collapses to the floor; "Losing consciousness! Some force... flooding my mind..." The "force" vouchsafes Kent with a vision of Batman apparently being crushed to death by a large boulder. If he wants to save his friend and ally, Superman must travel to 51 degrees north latitude, 73 degrees west longitude. (My smartphone tells me this latitude/longitude is located in Kazakhstan, then a part of the Soviet Union. The Russians might have been nervous about Superman making a sudden appearance there. But this doesn't enter into the story; probably Bates made up the latitude/longitude totally at random.) Kent revives but insists on exiting the elevator immediately so that he can hurry to Batman's aid, causing a callous coworker to sneer, "You know Clark Kent... it never takes much to throw that weak-kneed creep into a panic!"
And indeed Superman is panicking unnecessarily, for as a caption informs us, he has been "taken". Batman is in no danger; in his Bruce Wayne identity, he is seeing Dick Grayson boarding a plane for a school field trip; "Batman will just have to do a solo for a few days!" As Alfred chauffeurs Bruce back to Wayne Manor, Bruce appears to nod off, and Alfred attributes this to Bruce dozing off after a late night of crime-fighting as Batman. But in fact Bruce/Batman is having the same kind of vision Clark Kent/Superman had, showing Superman lying helpless under a Green Kryptonite boulder and warning that Batman must travel to 51 north 73 west to save him. Bruce rouses and instructs Alfred to return him to the Batcave immediately, so he can rush to Superman's aid as Batman. "So Batman has been duped, too! But WHY? And by WHOM?"
Superman arrives at the appointed spot and finds a "massive citadel" with lead-lined walls blocking his X-ray vision. He enters an open door which then slams shut behind him. At first he is confident of his ability to smash his way out-- "Someone's trying to lock me in! Is he in for a shock!"-- but it is Supes himself who is in for a shock, as he finds that the door and walls are able to withstand a succession of his mightiest blows! He gets increasingly frustrated-- "I can't let this door defeat me! I'm SUPERMAN! I can move whole PLANETS!" but he finally has to admit defeat and try to reach Batman by exploring the maze-like interior of the citadel. As Superman reaches a circular chamber full of metal doors of the same impenetrable material, two men watch him on TV screens in a hidden control room, their identities hidden by their chairs. "We have SUPERMAN in position for ORDEAL ONE!" "Right! I'm activating the power controls now!" "Ordeal One" consists of giant images of Supes' old foes appearing out of pitch blackness, accompanied by laughter so loud and shrill that "it's a toss-up whether my ear-drums go first-- or my SANITY!" Eventually, however, the laughter stops, as the two masterminds decide to give Superman a breathing spell and turn their attention to Batman, just arriving on the scene..
Batman dashes for the now-open door of the citadel and barely makes it inside before the door slams shut; "WHEW! A fraction of a second later andthat door would have smashed me into FLATMAN!" Wandering the maze, Batman finds an "odd-looking object" that looks like a cross between a chair and a humanoid robot. He stays clear of the chair, but its arms reach out, seize him and trap him in the chair, held so tightly that he cannot wriggle free or reach his Utility Belt gadgets! Then the jet-propelled chair takes off and spins around wildly as Batman is surrounded by hundreds of fluttering bats giving off shrill screeches. The combination is too much for Bats, and he falls unconscious as the chair lowers him back to the ground, While waiting for Batman to regain consciousness, the two tormentors turn back to their other victim; "I see Superman is up and around again! We don't want him to get bored!" The Man of Steel now finds himself in a lead-lined chamber, and suspects, correctly, that he is about to face a threat from his mineral nemesis, Kryptonite.
In Part 2 of the story, "The Cape and Cowl Crack-Up!", internal heating coils melt away the lead lining in the walls, exposing Superman to the inner walls composed of Green K. As if that weren't enough, in the best tradition of devilish villain traps, the walls begin closing in on Superman! "Not even a Superman is beyond panic! Faced with terrible, certain death, he give voice to a SUPER-SCREAM..." Batman hears the scream and deduces that something awful must be happening to his super-buddy, as only he could produce such a shout. "He's still alive! But for HOW LONG? Somehow I MUST find a way to him... while there's STILL TIME!" Just as Superman despairs and lies down to die, the room expands again and new lead shields close over the Kryptonite walls. Superman's life is spared, but only for more torment. "Superman should be near his breaking point by now! "Yes! I think it's time to allow our two subjects to get together for the ordeal that will determine whether they LIVE or DIE!"
Batman reaches Superman and is somewhat reassured to find that he is still alive and slowly recovering from the near-fatal dose of Kryptonite. They compare notes on how they were both lured into this trap, but then are confronted by a "welcoming committee" of four persons armed with deadly weapons. "They're DEAD! They can't POSSIBLY be here!" ""They're armed...hostile! But we CAN'T fight them!" Why not? Because their new foes are spitting images of Jor-El, Lara, Thomas and Martha Wayne! Even though the heroes know that these cannot be their true, loved and lost parents, "we both have MENTAL BLOCKS that prevent us from fighting back!" After being bombarded by blast-rays and Kryptonite beams by their parental units, the heroes tumble through a trap-door and find themselves in a chamber where the slightest bodily motion causes them to be targeted for still more deadly rays and Kryptonite radiation. Their only chance of life is to remain absolutely motionless. They manage to do so for "long, unbearable hours," but finally, not only Batman but the Kryptonite-weakened Superman "give way to utter exhaustion and collapse". "That does it!" "Yes! It's time to start the INTERROGATION!"
Under that interrogation by the two unseen figures, our harassed and overstressed heroes begin spilling every vital secret they know-- their own secret identities, that of Robin, plus inside info on the workings of the Gotham City Police Dept. and the "location of every secret U.S. missile installation. "We've heard enough! They've both CRACKED!" "Yes! Now we'll have to do away with them!" And so, as the two tormentors smash through the wall of the prison chamber, our hapless heroes recognize who they are. "I realize now WHO they are... and WHAT must be done!" Kneeling before the men who have broken them, Superman and Batman beg for death. "We failed! We're useless! Please-- DESTROY US!" "Go ahead! Blast us! We MUST DIE!" And so, the two masterminds fire their weapons at Superman and Batman, who fall lifeless to the ground! "The experiment was a TOTAL FAILURE!" says one of them regretfully. And at last we see that the two men who have driven Superman and Batman to their destruction are-- Superman and Batman! It turns out that the "Superman and Batman" who were destroyed are androids created by a well-meaning scientist, hoping to create the perfect substitutes for the real Supes and Bats in their absence. The Superman android is designed to react to Kryptonite, for verisimilitude, and both of them were programmed to believe they were the real heroes. But before using them for that purpose, the real Superman and Batman determined to subject the androids to the most stringent tests. "When they saw US, the androids realized what they were and realized that they HAD to be deactivated!" "Yes! If they were ever captured by an enemy, they could have been forced to tell all our secrets!" Superman mutters, "I'll stick to my ROBOTS if I need a double! Let's go, pal!" "Right, Superman! I want to be out of this place!" Final caption: "Moral: There's only ONE SUPERMAN... and ONE BATMAN! They CAN'T be DUPLICATED!" (But another possible "moral" is altogether ignored by the story... and even if Batman seems vaguely disturbed by what they have done, maybe he and Superman should have been a lot more disturbed. Even if these androids aren't technically "alive" in some biological sense, and even if they themselves consent to their destruction, doesn't their ability to feel emotion and pain make the real Supes and Bats morally culpable for torture and murder? If Superman and Batman met Star Trek's "Data", or Marvel's Vision, or DC's own Red Tornado who first showed up about this time, would they feel justified in tormenting and destroying these artificial beings at whim? And for that matter, how do they know for sure that THEY wouldn't crack up if hit by that exact combination of torments?)
I decided to review this story after all because somebody on the list referred to another story which started out well but was ruined by a "cheat" ending, and I thought this story could also fit that description. Interestingly, though, a two-part story reprinted later in this WF Showcase volume-- "Prison of No Escape" and "The Breaking of Batman and Superman", from WF #192 and 193, by Bob Haney and Andru/Esposito, has a similar theme of Batman and a de-powered Superman being tormented to the breaking point in a concentration camp run by a dictatorship. Those are the real heroes, and they come out of it somewhat better than their android doubles. I didn't feel like reviewing the two-parter, though.
Oddly, though I don't own most of the WF issues reprinted in this Showcase, I have the feeling I may own this one-- but I have no memory of ever reading the Superman/Batman story before. Anyway, according to the GCD, the original issue also contains an "Editors Roundtable" reprint of a Green Lantern story from GL #12, "Zero Hour in the Silent City". I could lay hands on a copy of that story and review it, but I'm not going to just now. Maybe someday I'll review GL #12 and cover it then.
The archives of the Silver Age Reviews Yahoo Group, celebrating that classic era of comic books published between 1956 and 1972! (And occasionally beyond!)
Showing posts with label World's Finest Comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label World's Finest Comics. Show all posts
World's Finest #160: "The Fatal Forecasts of Doctor Zodiac!" Part 2
BRAD: And here we are with Part II of "The Fatal Forecasts of Dr. Zodiac!" Raven, will you please give us a recap?
RAVEN: No.
BRAD: Aw, why not?
RAVEN: What's to recap? A cheap crook finds a magic horoscope book and is giving grief to Batman. The. End.
BRAD: Not very gracious, but serviceable. Anyway, as Batman and Robin hurtle off a drawbridge, we begin "The Unholy Horoscopes!"
ROBIN: Batman! Punch the twin parachute release ––
BRAD: So labelled ––
ROBIN: Or we're dead pigeons! *Whew* Thanks to these nylon umbrellas, we'll drop to earth safely!
WALDO: Weren't they over water?
BATMAN: But meanwhile, Dr. Zodiac has made his getaway!
NARRATOR: As the police arrive––
COP: So if that drawbridge hadn't opened up, you would have stopped Dr. Zodiac from hijacking those rare animals? Tough luck, Batman!
RAVEN: The cops are so rough on these vigilantes.
BATMAN: Tough luck is right! I guess you can't win them all!
WALDO: In the Silver Age? Come now....
NARRATOR: Next day, in Dr. Zodiac's lair...
DR. Z: All this lovely moolah! The crooked animal-dealers paid us a fortune for those rare beasts.
BRAD: We only patronize the most reputable crooked animal-dealers.
DR. Z: That horoscope sure made a sap out of Batman!
HONEY: But will the astrology bit work on Superman? He's invulnerable, you know!
RAVEN: Doesn't astrology count as magic?
BRAD: It's a gray area.
DR. Z: This book will help me figure out Superman's unlucky hours, too... But I must know his birthday first. There's only one person who could possibly know that information...
RAVEN: Lois Lane?
BRAD: Lex Luthor?
WALDO: Bob Rozakis?
DR. Z: Jimmy Olsen, Superman's Pal.
RAVEN: Tee Emm.
HONEY: Olsen? Hmm... Leave him to me... But first I have a little shopping to do!
NARRATOR: That afternoon, in a department store...
CLERK 1: Imagine! A grown woman buying a complete teen-age wardrobe. She's even trying on a wig with a teen hairdo!
CLERK 2: It must be some kind of a gag... Or perhaps she's going to a masquerade!
RAVEN: Soooo... until the Sixties, middle-aged folks *didn't* cling desperately to every last trace of their youth?
BRAD: The phrase, "Mutton dressed as lamb," comes irresistibly to mind...
NARRATOR: "Masquerade" is right; next day, in Metropolis...
BRAD: Fresh from the Warner Store Going-out-of-business sale...
HONEY: My name is Honey Combs.
RAVEN: No wonder she turned to crime, with a stripper name!
HONEY: I'm mad for Superman! And, as his pal, *you're* my idol, too! That's why I want to join your fan club, Mr. Olsen!
RAVEN: Boy Scouts in bow ties.
JIMMY: Call me Jimmy! ... Sure, you can join! But first you'll have to pass an intitiation test: Where was Superman born?
HONEY: On Krypton.
JIMMY: What element is poisonous to him?
HONEY: Kryptonite.
WALDO: And more people know this than what HFCS stands for.
FAN CLUB MEMBER: How about that? She has Jimmy so charmed he's deliberately giving her easy questions!
RAVEN: It's called puberty. You'll find out.
JIMMY: You passed with flying colors, doll! We'll make you an official member at the next meeting!
HONEY: Gosh, thanks, Jimmy! But there's one fact about Superman I've always wanted to know! Can you tell me his birthday?
BRAD: She's aiming her dimples right at his freckles.
JIMMY: I'll look it up in the club scrapbook. Here it is. As Kal-El, he was born on Krypton...
WALDO: NO.
JIMMY: The Kryptonian date corresponds to August 1st on Earth!
HONEY: Jimmy, you're sweet to look it up! 'Bye, now! See you at the next meeting!
NARRATOR: Later, at a new hideout in Metropolis...
DR. Z: So Superman was born August 1st –– under the sign of Leo the Lion! Aha! His horoscope says he's due for a streak of bad luck at 8 o'clock tomorrow night!
RAVEN: This is what you call "Just-In-Time" skullduggery!
HONEY: And that's when we go into action!
NARRATOR: Next day, outside the world-famous Superman museum...
BRAD: A sign is hanging off the fist of a Superman statue: "Superman! I will commit a major crime high over Metropolis, tonight at 8 p.m.! The stars decree you cannot prevent it! Dare you try to stop me, or are you too superstitious? Dr. Zodiac"
RAVEN: Kiss kiss, hug hug.
ONLOOKER 5: That challenge is like a stab in the back to Superman! Will he take the dare?
BR&W: What do *you* think?
NARRATOR: That night, as swank cars crowd the parking area of a small Metropolis airfield...
RICH GUY: Hurry, Watkins! We mustn't be late for the take-off!
CHAUFFEUR: We'll be at the tower in a moment, sir!
RAVEN: Well, you don't keep the Donald waiting!
NARRATOR: In the sky above, a spectacular sight...
BRAD: A big blimp with the legend, "Sky-High Casino Club: Chips for Charity."
RICH WOMAN: Isn't it fantastic? An airborne gambling club... The most exclusive casino in the country. All the proceeds go to charity!
SECURITY: Take-off time at 7:45! Have your credentials ready, ladies and gentlemen!
WALDO: Maybe we'll see the Rocketeer!
NARRATOR: Among the notables is Dr. Zodiac, disguised as a wealthy Oriental!
BRAD: Traded in the turban for a fez.
CHECK-IN: $100,000... The minimum stake required by the club! Your credentials are in order, sir! The elevator will take you aloft!
DR. Z: (vo) Ha, ha! The loot from my last haul is my ticket into this swank joint!
RAVEN: He didn't think to use counterfeit?
ATTENDANT: All aboard! Lift-off time! Unwind the cable!
ANOTHER RICH GUY: The law says gambling isn't permitted within three miles of Metropolis City Hall! But that cable allows the casino to float just above the three-mile limit!
WALDO: Seems like a lot of trouble for a Las Vegas Night...
HONEY: Look at that lettuce! There are millions aboard this flying Fort Knox!
RAVEN: Who's she supposed to be, Lawrence of Arabia?
DR. Z: We've got to time this job perfectly, baby! First, I light your cigarette!
HONEY: *Puff**Puff* The pressurized knock-out gas released by this cig is working like a charm!
BRAD: One little cigarette contains enough gas to put an entire zeppelin to sleep. Sure.
DR. Z: Quick, use these nose-filters, before it starts working on us.
BRAD: And he sticks it up his nose.
RAVEN: EW!
DR. Z: (vo) By inserting the special nasal filters, we neutralize the gas and keep wide awake, while it kayoes everyone else!
WALDO: Hope none of the guests are on oxygen.
BRAD: That's a remarkably young and fit set of plutocrats.
DR. Z: Every second counts! Help me clean out the cashier's cage! Then we'll go for the passengers' jewels!
HONEY: This is a cinch! They're all in slumberland!
WALDO: Searching for the Princess...
NARRATOR: But in the Radio Room, one man is still semi-conscious...
SEMI-CONSCIOUS MAN: Sky-High Club to Tower Control! Emergency... Mysterious fumes...
GROUND CONTROL: We'd better contact Superman at once!
BRAD: See, he's busy checking out all the other potential crimes high above Metropolis.
NARRATOR: Alerted, the Man of Steel streaks to the rescue...
SUPERMAN: Don't worry! I'll haul in the mooring cable and bring the dirigible down to Earth!
GROUND CONTROL: Nice going, Superman! The people aboard may need medical attention!
WALDO: Why doesn't he fly up and capture Zodiac first?
HONEY: I thought you said Superman's horoscope predicted he'd have an unlucky hour! There he is, pulling us down! We're trapped!
DR. Z: Relax, kid! The stars never fail! Look what's coming our way!
BRAD: That's "DIG what's Coming," capital D, capital C...
NARRATOR: Yes, blazing down from the night sky comes...
HONEY: Great Guns! It's a space capsule zooming out of orbit. It cut the mooring cable... exactly at 8 o'clock! It's uncanny!
DR. Z: Didn't I tell you my horoscope couldn't miss? Now to give Superman a final warning!
BRAD: Gee, if his horoscopes are this good, why doesn't he skip the life of crime and take over from Jeanne Dixon?
DR. Z: Superman, this is Dr. Zodiac! I've taken over the craft! According to the stars, your unlucky hour has just begun. Try to stop me, and I'll blow up this ship and everyone aboard!
SUPERMAN: I can't risk the passengers' lives! I'll leave!
RAVEN: If Superman can't do anything, maybe Gladstone Gander?
NARRATOR: At dawn, in a remote area...
WALDO: They had till dawn? So much for, "Every second counts."
BRAD: It's just a *lot* of seconds.
DR. Z: It was all written in the stars! We got away with millions in loot and Superman couldn't stop us!
BRAD: As they parachute into a fogbank...
HONEY: By releasing the valves, we're causing the zeppelin to settle to earth miles from here!
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in Metropolis...
TV NEWSMAN: The odds against a space-capsule shearing that slim mooring cable are more than 100 billion to one! Do you still doubt Dr. Zodiac can predict the future?
SUPERMAN: Gentlemen, I refuse to believe in such superstitious poppycock!
WALDO: And so does the Spectre and Dr. Fate!
NARRATOR: As Dr. Zodiac enjoys his ill-gotten loot...
HONEY: Talk about luxury! Now you've got a penthouse, a maid and a $50,000 computer to help you figure out those whacky horoscopes!
WALDO: Talking like that in front of the maid? Is she deaf?
RAVEN: If she knows what's good for her.
DR. Z: Don't knock astrology, baby! Right now, I've got this gadget planning the Crime of the Century!
COMPUTER: HUMMM! BRRRANNNG! TRINNNG! BONG!
RAVEN: Is this a computer or Jack Benny's Maxwell?
DR. Z: WOW! This combined horoscope for Superman and Batman predicts they're destined for the worst hard luck of their careers! This is my chance to pull the greatest crime caper in history!
BRAD: Why doesn't he just win the Lotto?
NARRATOR: Soon, a TV bulletin announces...
SKULL-HEADED TV GUY: Attention, Superman and Batman! A note from Dr. Zodiac boasts that he will steal the greatest treasures of two cities tomorrow at midnight. Try to stop him and the stars predict you will DIE!
TV VIEWER: *Ulp!* Dr. Zodiac's forecasts haven't missed yet!
BRAD: It's all in the rep...
GORDON: You've heard about the warning! This Dr. Zodiac is infallible! Let the police handle him!
SUPERMAN: No, Commissioner, he's too dangerous. This is a job for us!
WALDO: I'd pull your badge if you had one.
NARRATOR: The next night, at the Superman-Batman museum in the State Police Building...
RAVEN: I don't see Superman letting Batman have part of *his* museum...
RUBBER-SUITED MINION (1 OF 8): Ha, ha! The museum guards don't dream you had us hidden under those alien plants that were delivered today, Dr. Zodiac!
BRAD: One speech balloon doing the work of at least four panels.
DR. Z: Get moving! Let's collect those super-valuable souvenirs of Superman and Batman's joint adventures!
WALDO: The World's Finest Loot!
BRAD: They stand in front of three statues bearing this inscription: "These onyx sculptures of the Superman-Batman-Robin team are valued at $200,000! The money was contributed by the people of Metropolis and Gotham City."
DR. Z: Space jewels, rare precious metals... we'll take them all, but our biggest prize will be those two statues!
RAVEN: Man, even Robin's *statue* doesn't count!
NARRATOR: But, abruptly...
BATMAN: That's what you think, creep!
RSM(1o8): Those aren't statues! They're the real thing! Beat it!
DR. Z: No, wait, They can't stop us! My horoscopes never fail!
BRAD: And he grabs a display Batarang.
SUPERMAN: Batman!
DR. Z: Beaned by a Batarang! Ironic, eh? And wait till you see what's in store for you, Superman! Ha, ha!
BRAD: He grabs a sample of Green Kryptonite.
DR. Z: Have some Kryptonite! I warned you about your black hour!
RAVEN: If this is the State Police building, where's the Police?
WALDO: In a state.
SUPERMAN: AGGG! The pain! I feel the strength draining out of me!
NARRATOR: As the fatal element completes its work...
RSM(1o8): Superman dead! And Batman and Robin are our prisoners! The underworld will never believe this!
DR. Z: They will, when we show 'em the evidence! Let's go. Open your tank valves and let the helium fill your inflatable suits!
WALDO: The Michelin Man Brigade!
RSM(1o8): This escape gimmick tops them all! The helium is turning us into human balloons!
DR. Z: That dirigible job gave me the idea for airlifting our loot... including the body of Superman.. and the Dynamic Duo!
NARRATOR: Next day, the underworld swarms to an abandoned nightclub...
HONEY: Yes! Superman's dead! And today you'll see the execution of Batman and Robin! To celebrate, Dr. Zodiac is giving each guest a sweatshirt with his horoscope sign! Name your birthday, pal!
BRAD: You can get nicer ones from Cafe Press.
DR. Z: Here they are, gents... the Caped Crime-Fighters. Now, I'll turn on the valve that will flood Batman's execution chamber with deadly cyanide gas!
MOOK: Haw, haw! Terrific!
RAVEN: Give the audience what they want...
BATMAN: *Gasp* Cough*
DR. Z: HA, HA! Ain't it a beautiful sight?
BRAD: Psst! You forgot to take off his mask!
DR. Z: That's that! The Masked Manhunter is kaput!
MOOK 2: First, Superman. Now, Batman! Hooray!
RAVEN: And next, Wonder Woman gets a revamp.
MOOK 3: A toast to Dr. Zodiac!
DR. Z: Now before we finish off Robin, I'm going to auction off the horoscopes of the country's leading lawmen! What am I bid for the details of J.Edgar Hoover's unluckiest hour?
RAVEN: Too late! That was when Luciano caught him in the men's room.
MOOK 4: $50,000 bucks!
MOOK 5: I bid a hundred grand!
NARRATOR: But suddenly...
BRAD: Crashing through the wall...
HONEY: Batman, Robin and Superman! They're alive!
DR. Z: It can't be! I killed them myself!
WALDO: You let the stars get in your eyes.
BRAD: Batman knocks Doc Zee into the piano – piano?! – with a BRRONNNGG!
BATMAN: Maybe we came back to haunt you, Zodiac! Come on, let's play the Prisoner's Song!
SUPERMAN: Too bad I can't let myself go, as you fellows can! If I hit these guys too hard, I'd kill them!
RAVEN: Oh, boo hoo hoo for Big Blue.
NARRATOR: After the police arrive...
DR. Z: This is impossible! These horoscopes never fail!
SUPERMAN: They didn't fail! It was all a hoax to lure wanted criminals out of hiding! I borrowed that book from a museum and added a faked translation with false horoscopes!
WALDO: So why didn't you fake the whole book, instead of letting a cheap grifter manhandle a museum exhibit?
SUPERMAN: The sheriff at the carnival deliberately escorted you to the county line where those crystal balls lured you into a curio shop. The shopkeeper was ME in disguise.
[flashback]
SUPERMAN IN GRAY WIG: (vo) He swallowed the bait! He's sure to use the horoscopes I worked out! I know he'd never be able to resist taking that book!
WALDO: No wonder the storekeeper was remarkably unwrinkled!
SUPERMAN: Then I used my super-vision and super-hearing to tune in on your plans... When you checked on our birthdays....
[flashback]
BATMAN: I was born April 25th. (vo) A phoney date for a phoney gypsy!
JIMMY: Superman was born August 1st! (vo) That's the fake date Superman told me to give her!
BRAD: See, Superman can't give the fake birthday himself, because he can't lie. But he can make others lie for him.
SUPERMAN: Thus I knew exactly the "unlucky hours" the horoscopes would predict, and what crimes you cooked up...
[flashback]
BATMAN: The info Superman gave us was perfect... Right on the nose! The Captain of that ship passed under the bridge exactly at the time we arranged!
WALDO: Can you say "entrapment," boys and girls?
SUPERMAN: And when I eavesdropped on your horoscope plans for me...
[flashback]
DR. Z: The Sky-High Club can't miss, if we time it for 8 p.m. That's when Superman is due for his unlucky hour!
SUPERMAN (vo) So that's his scheme.
BRAD: Great wall treatment, with Superman spread-eagled on a zodiac wheel.
SUPERMAN: The evening of the robbery...
SUPERMAN (vo): I'm hurling this object into a super-accurate orbit that will bring it down just in time to cut the dirigible cable at the start of my "unlucky hour!"
SUPERMAN: My super-aim brought the capsule down at precisely 8 p.m....
[flashback]
DR. Z: Didn't I tell you that horoscope couldn't miss?
SUPERMAN (vo) That should convince Dr. Zodiac that his horoscopes will enable him to get away with any crime in the books!
RAVEN: That should convince Metropolis' richest citizens to hit you with a class action suit.
[end flashbacks]
DR. Z: But if I didn't kill you, whom did I kill?
SUPERMAN: Nobody! These are lifelike plastic androids, which I programmed to put on an act. We switched them for our statues. This one was chemically treated to turn green in the presence of Kryptonite!
WALDO: Except they forgot to tell the colorist...
BATMAN: We figured you'd try to sell horoscopes of lawmen to other crooks... and that every public enemy would come out of his rat-hole to buy them after your predictions came true.
BRAD: Hey Tony Soprano, nice sweatshirt!
SUPERMAN: I've kept tabs on all your hidden loot. It'll be returned to its owners!
WALDO: Face it, Doc, they played you like a two-dollar ocarina!
SUPERMAN: And now we're going to read *your* horoscope, Dr. Zodiac!
BATMAN: We predict that, according to the stars, you will spend your next 20 years in jail! Ha, ha!
DR. Z: Bah!
RAVEN: The end. You know, Brad, for a brighter, more innocent time, the Silver Age sure had some messed-up messaging.
WALDO: Yeah, you had Superman and Batman greasing the way for Dr. Schmo-diac to steal millions of dollars.
RAVEN: And it was only by sheer luck that no one got killed from ten hours' exposure to knockout gas.
WALDO: And DC can't make up it's mind as to whether astrology works or not.
BRAD: I know, I know. Just tell yourself it's the Camp Era, that excuses a multitude on sins. Anyway I can't stick around here.
RAVEN: Why not?
BRAD: Gotta finish taking my Myers-Briggs.
RAVEN: No.
BRAD: Aw, why not?
RAVEN: What's to recap? A cheap crook finds a magic horoscope book and is giving grief to Batman. The. End.
BRAD: Not very gracious, but serviceable. Anyway, as Batman and Robin hurtle off a drawbridge, we begin "The Unholy Horoscopes!"
ROBIN: Batman! Punch the twin parachute release ––
BRAD: So labelled ––
ROBIN: Or we're dead pigeons! *Whew* Thanks to these nylon umbrellas, we'll drop to earth safely!
WALDO: Weren't they over water?
BATMAN: But meanwhile, Dr. Zodiac has made his getaway!
NARRATOR: As the police arrive––
COP: So if that drawbridge hadn't opened up, you would have stopped Dr. Zodiac from hijacking those rare animals? Tough luck, Batman!
RAVEN: The cops are so rough on these vigilantes.
BATMAN: Tough luck is right! I guess you can't win them all!
WALDO: In the Silver Age? Come now....
NARRATOR: Next day, in Dr. Zodiac's lair...
DR. Z: All this lovely moolah! The crooked animal-dealers paid us a fortune for those rare beasts.
BRAD: We only patronize the most reputable crooked animal-dealers.
DR. Z: That horoscope sure made a sap out of Batman!
HONEY: But will the astrology bit work on Superman? He's invulnerable, you know!
RAVEN: Doesn't astrology count as magic?
BRAD: It's a gray area.
DR. Z: This book will help me figure out Superman's unlucky hours, too... But I must know his birthday first. There's only one person who could possibly know that information...
RAVEN: Lois Lane?
BRAD: Lex Luthor?
WALDO: Bob Rozakis?
DR. Z: Jimmy Olsen, Superman's Pal.
RAVEN: Tee Emm.
HONEY: Olsen? Hmm... Leave him to me... But first I have a little shopping to do!
NARRATOR: That afternoon, in a department store...
CLERK 1: Imagine! A grown woman buying a complete teen-age wardrobe. She's even trying on a wig with a teen hairdo!
CLERK 2: It must be some kind of a gag... Or perhaps she's going to a masquerade!
RAVEN: Soooo... until the Sixties, middle-aged folks *didn't* cling desperately to every last trace of their youth?
BRAD: The phrase, "Mutton dressed as lamb," comes irresistibly to mind...
NARRATOR: "Masquerade" is right; next day, in Metropolis...
BRAD: Fresh from the Warner Store Going-out-of-business sale...
HONEY: My name is Honey Combs.
RAVEN: No wonder she turned to crime, with a stripper name!
HONEY: I'm mad for Superman! And, as his pal, *you're* my idol, too! That's why I want to join your fan club, Mr. Olsen!
RAVEN: Boy Scouts in bow ties.
JIMMY: Call me Jimmy! ... Sure, you can join! But first you'll have to pass an intitiation test: Where was Superman born?
HONEY: On Krypton.
JIMMY: What element is poisonous to him?
HONEY: Kryptonite.
WALDO: And more people know this than what HFCS stands for.
FAN CLUB MEMBER: How about that? She has Jimmy so charmed he's deliberately giving her easy questions!
RAVEN: It's called puberty. You'll find out.
JIMMY: You passed with flying colors, doll! We'll make you an official member at the next meeting!
HONEY: Gosh, thanks, Jimmy! But there's one fact about Superman I've always wanted to know! Can you tell me his birthday?
BRAD: She's aiming her dimples right at his freckles.
JIMMY: I'll look it up in the club scrapbook. Here it is. As Kal-El, he was born on Krypton...
WALDO: NO.
JIMMY: The Kryptonian date corresponds to August 1st on Earth!
HONEY: Jimmy, you're sweet to look it up! 'Bye, now! See you at the next meeting!
NARRATOR: Later, at a new hideout in Metropolis...
DR. Z: So Superman was born August 1st –– under the sign of Leo the Lion! Aha! His horoscope says he's due for a streak of bad luck at 8 o'clock tomorrow night!
RAVEN: This is what you call "Just-In-Time" skullduggery!
HONEY: And that's when we go into action!
NARRATOR: Next day, outside the world-famous Superman museum...
BRAD: A sign is hanging off the fist of a Superman statue: "Superman! I will commit a major crime high over Metropolis, tonight at 8 p.m.! The stars decree you cannot prevent it! Dare you try to stop me, or are you too superstitious? Dr. Zodiac"
RAVEN: Kiss kiss, hug hug.
ONLOOKER 5: That challenge is like a stab in the back to Superman! Will he take the dare?
BR&W: What do *you* think?
NARRATOR: That night, as swank cars crowd the parking area of a small Metropolis airfield...
RICH GUY: Hurry, Watkins! We mustn't be late for the take-off!
CHAUFFEUR: We'll be at the tower in a moment, sir!
RAVEN: Well, you don't keep the Donald waiting!
NARRATOR: In the sky above, a spectacular sight...
BRAD: A big blimp with the legend, "Sky-High Casino Club: Chips for Charity."
RICH WOMAN: Isn't it fantastic? An airborne gambling club... The most exclusive casino in the country. All the proceeds go to charity!
SECURITY: Take-off time at 7:45! Have your credentials ready, ladies and gentlemen!
WALDO: Maybe we'll see the Rocketeer!
NARRATOR: Among the notables is Dr. Zodiac, disguised as a wealthy Oriental!
BRAD: Traded in the turban for a fez.
CHECK-IN: $100,000... The minimum stake required by the club! Your credentials are in order, sir! The elevator will take you aloft!
DR. Z: (vo) Ha, ha! The loot from my last haul is my ticket into this swank joint!
RAVEN: He didn't think to use counterfeit?
ATTENDANT: All aboard! Lift-off time! Unwind the cable!
ANOTHER RICH GUY: The law says gambling isn't permitted within three miles of Metropolis City Hall! But that cable allows the casino to float just above the three-mile limit!
WALDO: Seems like a lot of trouble for a Las Vegas Night...
HONEY: Look at that lettuce! There are millions aboard this flying Fort Knox!
RAVEN: Who's she supposed to be, Lawrence of Arabia?
DR. Z: We've got to time this job perfectly, baby! First, I light your cigarette!
HONEY: *Puff**Puff* The pressurized knock-out gas released by this cig is working like a charm!
BRAD: One little cigarette contains enough gas to put an entire zeppelin to sleep. Sure.
DR. Z: Quick, use these nose-filters, before it starts working on us.
BRAD: And he sticks it up his nose.
RAVEN: EW!
DR. Z: (vo) By inserting the special nasal filters, we neutralize the gas and keep wide awake, while it kayoes everyone else!
WALDO: Hope none of the guests are on oxygen.
BRAD: That's a remarkably young and fit set of plutocrats.
DR. Z: Every second counts! Help me clean out the cashier's cage! Then we'll go for the passengers' jewels!
HONEY: This is a cinch! They're all in slumberland!
WALDO: Searching for the Princess...
NARRATOR: But in the Radio Room, one man is still semi-conscious...
SEMI-CONSCIOUS MAN: Sky-High Club to Tower Control! Emergency... Mysterious fumes...
GROUND CONTROL: We'd better contact Superman at once!
BRAD: See, he's busy checking out all the other potential crimes high above Metropolis.
NARRATOR: Alerted, the Man of Steel streaks to the rescue...
SUPERMAN: Don't worry! I'll haul in the mooring cable and bring the dirigible down to Earth!
GROUND CONTROL: Nice going, Superman! The people aboard may need medical attention!
WALDO: Why doesn't he fly up and capture Zodiac first?
HONEY: I thought you said Superman's horoscope predicted he'd have an unlucky hour! There he is, pulling us down! We're trapped!
DR. Z: Relax, kid! The stars never fail! Look what's coming our way!
BRAD: That's "DIG what's Coming," capital D, capital C...
NARRATOR: Yes, blazing down from the night sky comes...
HONEY: Great Guns! It's a space capsule zooming out of orbit. It cut the mooring cable... exactly at 8 o'clock! It's uncanny!
DR. Z: Didn't I tell you my horoscope couldn't miss? Now to give Superman a final warning!
BRAD: Gee, if his horoscopes are this good, why doesn't he skip the life of crime and take over from Jeanne Dixon?
DR. Z: Superman, this is Dr. Zodiac! I've taken over the craft! According to the stars, your unlucky hour has just begun. Try to stop me, and I'll blow up this ship and everyone aboard!
SUPERMAN: I can't risk the passengers' lives! I'll leave!
RAVEN: If Superman can't do anything, maybe Gladstone Gander?
NARRATOR: At dawn, in a remote area...
WALDO: They had till dawn? So much for, "Every second counts."
BRAD: It's just a *lot* of seconds.
DR. Z: It was all written in the stars! We got away with millions in loot and Superman couldn't stop us!
BRAD: As they parachute into a fogbank...
HONEY: By releasing the valves, we're causing the zeppelin to settle to earth miles from here!
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in Metropolis...
TV NEWSMAN: The odds against a space-capsule shearing that slim mooring cable are more than 100 billion to one! Do you still doubt Dr. Zodiac can predict the future?
SUPERMAN: Gentlemen, I refuse to believe in such superstitious poppycock!
WALDO: And so does the Spectre and Dr. Fate!
NARRATOR: As Dr. Zodiac enjoys his ill-gotten loot...
HONEY: Talk about luxury! Now you've got a penthouse, a maid and a $50,000 computer to help you figure out those whacky horoscopes!
WALDO: Talking like that in front of the maid? Is she deaf?
RAVEN: If she knows what's good for her.
DR. Z: Don't knock astrology, baby! Right now, I've got this gadget planning the Crime of the Century!
COMPUTER: HUMMM! BRRRANNNG! TRINNNG! BONG!
RAVEN: Is this a computer or Jack Benny's Maxwell?
DR. Z: WOW! This combined horoscope for Superman and Batman predicts they're destined for the worst hard luck of their careers! This is my chance to pull the greatest crime caper in history!
BRAD: Why doesn't he just win the Lotto?
NARRATOR: Soon, a TV bulletin announces...
SKULL-HEADED TV GUY: Attention, Superman and Batman! A note from Dr. Zodiac boasts that he will steal the greatest treasures of two cities tomorrow at midnight. Try to stop him and the stars predict you will DIE!
TV VIEWER: *Ulp!* Dr. Zodiac's forecasts haven't missed yet!
BRAD: It's all in the rep...
GORDON: You've heard about the warning! This Dr. Zodiac is infallible! Let the police handle him!
SUPERMAN: No, Commissioner, he's too dangerous. This is a job for us!
WALDO: I'd pull your badge if you had one.
NARRATOR: The next night, at the Superman-Batman museum in the State Police Building...
RAVEN: I don't see Superman letting Batman have part of *his* museum...
RUBBER-SUITED MINION (1 OF 8): Ha, ha! The museum guards don't dream you had us hidden under those alien plants that were delivered today, Dr. Zodiac!
BRAD: One speech balloon doing the work of at least four panels.
DR. Z: Get moving! Let's collect those super-valuable souvenirs of Superman and Batman's joint adventures!
WALDO: The World's Finest Loot!
BRAD: They stand in front of three statues bearing this inscription: "These onyx sculptures of the Superman-Batman-Robin team are valued at $200,000! The money was contributed by the people of Metropolis and Gotham City."
DR. Z: Space jewels, rare precious metals... we'll take them all, but our biggest prize will be those two statues!
RAVEN: Man, even Robin's *statue* doesn't count!
NARRATOR: But, abruptly...
BATMAN: That's what you think, creep!
RSM(1o8): Those aren't statues! They're the real thing! Beat it!
DR. Z: No, wait, They can't stop us! My horoscopes never fail!
BRAD: And he grabs a display Batarang.
SUPERMAN: Batman!
DR. Z: Beaned by a Batarang! Ironic, eh? And wait till you see what's in store for you, Superman! Ha, ha!
BRAD: He grabs a sample of Green Kryptonite.
DR. Z: Have some Kryptonite! I warned you about your black hour!
RAVEN: If this is the State Police building, where's the Police?
WALDO: In a state.
SUPERMAN: AGGG! The pain! I feel the strength draining out of me!
NARRATOR: As the fatal element completes its work...
RSM(1o8): Superman dead! And Batman and Robin are our prisoners! The underworld will never believe this!
DR. Z: They will, when we show 'em the evidence! Let's go. Open your tank valves and let the helium fill your inflatable suits!
WALDO: The Michelin Man Brigade!
RSM(1o8): This escape gimmick tops them all! The helium is turning us into human balloons!
DR. Z: That dirigible job gave me the idea for airlifting our loot... including the body of Superman.. and the Dynamic Duo!
NARRATOR: Next day, the underworld swarms to an abandoned nightclub...
HONEY: Yes! Superman's dead! And today you'll see the execution of Batman and Robin! To celebrate, Dr. Zodiac is giving each guest a sweatshirt with his horoscope sign! Name your birthday, pal!
BRAD: You can get nicer ones from Cafe Press.
DR. Z: Here they are, gents... the Caped Crime-Fighters. Now, I'll turn on the valve that will flood Batman's execution chamber with deadly cyanide gas!
MOOK: Haw, haw! Terrific!
RAVEN: Give the audience what they want...
BATMAN: *Gasp* Cough*
DR. Z: HA, HA! Ain't it a beautiful sight?
BRAD: Psst! You forgot to take off his mask!
DR. Z: That's that! The Masked Manhunter is kaput!
MOOK 2: First, Superman. Now, Batman! Hooray!
RAVEN: And next, Wonder Woman gets a revamp.
MOOK 3: A toast to Dr. Zodiac!
DR. Z: Now before we finish off Robin, I'm going to auction off the horoscopes of the country's leading lawmen! What am I bid for the details of J.Edgar Hoover's unluckiest hour?
RAVEN: Too late! That was when Luciano caught him in the men's room.
MOOK 4: $50,000 bucks!
MOOK 5: I bid a hundred grand!
NARRATOR: But suddenly...
BRAD: Crashing through the wall...
HONEY: Batman, Robin and Superman! They're alive!
DR. Z: It can't be! I killed them myself!
WALDO: You let the stars get in your eyes.
BRAD: Batman knocks Doc Zee into the piano – piano?! – with a BRRONNNGG!
BATMAN: Maybe we came back to haunt you, Zodiac! Come on, let's play the Prisoner's Song!
SUPERMAN: Too bad I can't let myself go, as you fellows can! If I hit these guys too hard, I'd kill them!
RAVEN: Oh, boo hoo hoo for Big Blue.
NARRATOR: After the police arrive...
DR. Z: This is impossible! These horoscopes never fail!
SUPERMAN: They didn't fail! It was all a hoax to lure wanted criminals out of hiding! I borrowed that book from a museum and added a faked translation with false horoscopes!
WALDO: So why didn't you fake the whole book, instead of letting a cheap grifter manhandle a museum exhibit?
SUPERMAN: The sheriff at the carnival deliberately escorted you to the county line where those crystal balls lured you into a curio shop. The shopkeeper was ME in disguise.
[flashback]
SUPERMAN IN GRAY WIG: (vo) He swallowed the bait! He's sure to use the horoscopes I worked out! I know he'd never be able to resist taking that book!
WALDO: No wonder the storekeeper was remarkably unwrinkled!
SUPERMAN: Then I used my super-vision and super-hearing to tune in on your plans... When you checked on our birthdays....
[flashback]
BATMAN: I was born April 25th. (vo) A phoney date for a phoney gypsy!
JIMMY: Superman was born August 1st! (vo) That's the fake date Superman told me to give her!
BRAD: See, Superman can't give the fake birthday himself, because he can't lie. But he can make others lie for him.
SUPERMAN: Thus I knew exactly the "unlucky hours" the horoscopes would predict, and what crimes you cooked up...
[flashback]
BATMAN: The info Superman gave us was perfect... Right on the nose! The Captain of that ship passed under the bridge exactly at the time we arranged!
WALDO: Can you say "entrapment," boys and girls?
SUPERMAN: And when I eavesdropped on your horoscope plans for me...
[flashback]
DR. Z: The Sky-High Club can't miss, if we time it for 8 p.m. That's when Superman is due for his unlucky hour!
SUPERMAN (vo) So that's his scheme.
BRAD: Great wall treatment, with Superman spread-eagled on a zodiac wheel.
SUPERMAN: The evening of the robbery...
SUPERMAN (vo): I'm hurling this object into a super-accurate orbit that will bring it down just in time to cut the dirigible cable at the start of my "unlucky hour!"
SUPERMAN: My super-aim brought the capsule down at precisely 8 p.m....
[flashback]
DR. Z: Didn't I tell you that horoscope couldn't miss?
SUPERMAN (vo) That should convince Dr. Zodiac that his horoscopes will enable him to get away with any crime in the books!
RAVEN: That should convince Metropolis' richest citizens to hit you with a class action suit.
[end flashbacks]
DR. Z: But if I didn't kill you, whom did I kill?
SUPERMAN: Nobody! These are lifelike plastic androids, which I programmed to put on an act. We switched them for our statues. This one was chemically treated to turn green in the presence of Kryptonite!
WALDO: Except they forgot to tell the colorist...
BATMAN: We figured you'd try to sell horoscopes of lawmen to other crooks... and that every public enemy would come out of his rat-hole to buy them after your predictions came true.
BRAD: Hey Tony Soprano, nice sweatshirt!
SUPERMAN: I've kept tabs on all your hidden loot. It'll be returned to its owners!
WALDO: Face it, Doc, they played you like a two-dollar ocarina!
SUPERMAN: And now we're going to read *your* horoscope, Dr. Zodiac!
BATMAN: We predict that, according to the stars, you will spend your next 20 years in jail! Ha, ha!
DR. Z: Bah!
RAVEN: The end. You know, Brad, for a brighter, more innocent time, the Silver Age sure had some messed-up messaging.
WALDO: Yeah, you had Superman and Batman greasing the way for Dr. Schmo-diac to steal millions of dollars.
RAVEN: And it was only by sheer luck that no one got killed from ten hours' exposure to knockout gas.
WALDO: And DC can't make up it's mind as to whether astrology works or not.
BRAD: I know, I know. Just tell yourself it's the Camp Era, that excuses a multitude on sins. Anyway I can't stick around here.
RAVEN: Why not?
BRAD: Gotta finish taking my Myers-Briggs.
World's Finest #160: "The Fatal Forecasts of Doctor Zodiac!" Part 1
BRAD: Good evening friends. Of course you remember my robot pals Raven ––
RAVEN: I'm a wisecracker.
BRAD: And Waldo ––
WALDO: Lookin' good!
BRAD: And this time we've got an entry from DC's Go-Go Checks era: "The Fatal Forecasts of Doctor Zodiac!"
DR. Z: Superman! Batman! I, Doctor Zodiac, have read your destiny in the stars! I predict that if you dare to stop this crime – you will DIE!
ROBIN: Holy Horoscope! That astrologer's predictions always come true!
RAVEN: So he's a *smart* as--trologer.
ROBIN: How can we fight the supernatural?
WALDO: Can't use the bat-shark repellent for *this* one...
NARRATOR: Your two favorite heroes, Superman and Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder, in one adventure together!
RAVEN: That's three heroes! Can't you count?
BRAD: Apparently not subordinate clauses.
R&W: Huh?
NARRATOR: Meet Dr. Zodiac, the mystic master criminal who can read the future in the stars. Superstitious nonsense, you say? Then explain how his sinister horoscopes can predict Superman's and Batman's unlucky hours... and why it look like curtains for the World's Finest Team when destiny fulfills... "The Fatal Forecasts of Dr. Zodiac!"
BRAD: Where does one find a sinister horoscope?
RAVEN: Next to the nefarious sudoku.
WALDO: And the Jumble of Doom.
DR. Z: Just as my horoscope predicted, I've doomed Batman with cyanide gas... and I've already done away with Superman! Ha, ha! What a lucky day for crime, eh, Robin?
BRAD: Let's agree right off, no "Zodiac Killer" references.
RAVEN: No problem.
NARRATOR: At a Gotham City charity carnival, where the mighty Superman is a feature attraction ––
SUPERMAN: Tighten your seat-belts, kids! We're taking off!
KIDS: YIPPEE!
ONLOOKER: How I envy those youngsters! Superman is giving them a joy-ride in his special flying caterpillar.
WALDO: Palisades Park had nothing on this!
RAVEN: Couldn't afford the liability.
NARRATOR: Co-star at the carnival is the Caped Wonder, Batman...
BATMAN: Hold onto your crash helmets, fellows! We're going through the Tunnel of Fire!
KIDS: YAHOO!
ONLOOKER 2: Ha, ha! Those kids are having a ball riding through those harmless "flames" which Batman created out of special chemicals!
RAVEN: Thank you, Captain Exposition.
BRAD: No, he's Doctor Kiljoy.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the carnival midway...
MRS. BAXTER: I'm so worried about Myron. This is his first camping trip, and he's only 12! Suppose there's a storm?
MR. BAXTER: Our son is a Baxter! He'll make it okay!
BRAD: He's trying to take her mind of their kid by going to a carnival.
MR. BAXTER: Come on! I want to see this mind-reader!
WALDO: To him you'll be Large Print.
MARVELLO THE MYSTIC: Ah! A vibration from my crystal ball! I sense the presence of a Mr. and Mrs. Baxter! Put a dollar in the box, friends, and I will read your thoughts!
MR. BAXTER: Fantastic! He knew our names... and he's blindfolded! This ought to be worth a buck!
RAVEN: Don't anyone tell him about John Edward.
MARVELLO THE MYSTIC: I see a lad... in hiking clothes... A boy named Myron! You're worried about him. He's only 12... and on his first camping trip!
BRAD: But it's that doctor's report that *really* worries you...
MR. BAXTER: That's our son! How did you know we were worried about him?
SUPERMAN: I'll show you how! This faker has an electronic radio-receiver hidden under his blindfold!
MARVELLO -- AH HELL, DR. Z: What goes on here?
BATMAN: That receiver was tuned to this walkie-talkie radio operated by his accomplice.
RAVEN: Hubba hubba!
BATMAN: She read your lips with her binoculars and then radioed "Marvello" the information!
MR. BAXTER: It's Superman and Batman! We were conned!
BRAD: Out of a whole entire dollar!
WALDO: Which, in 1966, was worth -- a dollar!
SUPERMAN: "Marvello" is really "Cash" Carrigan, an ex-big wheel in the underworld who's on the skids now. And that's his moll!
RAVEN: Whose name is unimportant.
BRAD: But we call her Honey.
BALD GUY WITH STOGIE: I want no phonies in my carnival, Superman! These two are through!
WALDO: Now back to the nice clean hoochie dancer tent!
BGwS: Here comes the Sheriff! He'll take care of these tin-horns!
WALDO: And they go off in a Fugue.
DR. Z: Okay, we'll go! But I'll square this with you finks if it's the last thing I ever do!
BRAD: At the city limits...
HONEY: "Cash," I'm sick of this penny-ante carnival jazz! When are we going to get back into the big-time?
DR. Z: Relax, baby. I'll figure out an angle one of these days. Meanwhile, let's head for that town.
WALDO: Just a short ten-mile hike.
NARRATOR: Presently, on a small town main street...
BRAD: In front of Ye Olde Curio Shoppe...
DR. Z: Hey, look! A crystal ball! Just what we need to revive our mind-reading act. Wait out here!
HONEY: Oh, no! Here we go again!
RAVEN: Isn't that the last line?
DR. Z: Hi, pal! I want to buy one of those crystal balls in the window!
RAVEN: I'm busy digging out earwax with my bugle.
CODGER: Eh? Sorry! I don't want to disturb the window display. But you can pick one of the crystal balls on the shelves!
WALDO: And don't touch my wrinkle cream!
NARRATOR: But as "Cash" picks up one of the glittering spheres, he spots an ancient volume: "Book of Sephren, Astrologer and Seer to the Pharaoh Hotec."
DR. Z: (voiceover) Hey! This book is by a royal Egyptian fortune-teller... and it's translated into English!
RAVEN: Like all the best prophecies!
BRAD: Viz. The Bible Code.
DR. Z: (vo) *GASP* According to the translation, that astrologer tells how he used the positions of the stars to predict the pharaoh's future and to foretell his master's lucky and unlucky hours. He saved the old boy's life many times!
WALDO: No, Your Highness! Mustn't disturb the cobras while they're laying diamonds!
DR. Z: WOW! This ancient fortune teller never missed on a prediction! If this book of horoscopes is on the level, it'll help me get even with Batman and Superman! Boy... Revenge will be sweet!
RAVEN: He said all that out loud?
WALDO: Well, the storekeeper's hard of hearing...
BRAD: And harder of thinking...
DR. Z: (vo) The proprietor would probably want a fortune for a book like this! I'll sneak out with it! That old creep is too deaf to hear me!
RAVEN: "Cash" and carry.
NARRATOR: Days later, in a Gotham City hideout...
WALDO: Where'd they get the money to get back to Gotham?
RAVEN: And get a Zodiac wheel, and Merlin's smoking jacket.
BRAD: Just go with it.
DR. Z: You heard me, baby! From now on, my new alias is Dr. Zodiac. This book of astrology will help me get revenge against Superman and Batman!
HONEY: Astrology help you get those two? How?
WALDO: Astrology heap big help!
BRAD: Ugh.
DR. Z: According to the ancients, everyone has his personal horoscope. This is the guiding star under which he was born.
WALDO: As a car is my very own guiding star.
RAVEN: A 1928 Porter?
BRAD: Don't.
DR. Z: ...and determines his destiny... his luck, good or bad. It's all charted here in the twelve signs of the Zodiac.
BRAD: The Western, or solar, zodiac... but let's not get into that...
DR. Z: This volume shows how the old astrologers could predict the future from the stars. If I knew the birthday of Batman, I could determine his horoscope. Then I could pull crimes during the hours which are unlucky for him!
BRAD: It's so crazy it just might– no, it's just crazy.
HONEY: But how could you find out his birthday? It's top-secret!
DR. Z: So we'll use a secret weapon, doll, namely, YOU! Listen closely...
HONEY: Okay! But it still sounds kooky to me!
WALDO: Only because you've been paying attention.
NARRATOR: That same day, after Batman and Robin deliver some criminals to police headquarters...
RAVEN: Don't they just tie 'em to a lamppost?
BRAD: Not in the Sixties...
GYPSY: Batman, please help a poor woman. Give me a quarter and my trained parrot will guess your fortune! All you have to do is tell me your birthday!
BRAD: Right in front of the Police Station?
RAVEN: Well, this *is* Gotham. Only Batman can catch a crook.
BATMAN: Ha, ha! It's a deal! Get set, Polly: My birthday is April 25th!
ROBIN: Look! She cued him to pull out one of those folded pieces of paper from the box!
RAVEN: The Leo Dorfman school of scriptwriting: Leave no plot-point un-underlined.
NARRATOR: Yours is a future of fortune and fame! The world will echo with the sound of your name!
ROBIN: Right on the button! But how did that bird know which fortune to pick?
BATMAN: Here's the answer, Robin! Polly accidentally picked TWO fortunes for me... They're both exactly alike!
BRAD: And he didn't even get a lousy cracker.
ROBIN: I get it! It's all a petty con game. All the fortunes are the same, designed just to flatter the customer!
WALDO: Moves pretty quick for an old gal.
NARRATOR: Yes, it's a con-game, boys, but with a different purpose. Soon, in Dr. Zodiac's lair...
HONEY: I should rate a medal for finding out Batman's birthday!
WALDO: How often do you see a blonde Gypsy?
DR. Z: Great work, baby! April 25th falls under the sign of Taurus, the Bull! I'll have his horoscope figured in a minute!
BRAD: Say, the Bull would be a great sign for a millionaire playboy.
WALDO: Get serious.
DR. Z: WOW! According to this ancient book, the planets Saturn and Mars will be in opposition to Taurus at exactly 4 p.m. tomorrow. That's when Batman is due for a session of bad luck!
BRAD: How opportune, for a goon. (Backslash Yogi Bear)
DR. Z: So I'm picking that time to pull the crime-spectacular of the year! and Batman's horoscope says he won't be able to stop me!
HONEY: Sounds great! But I'll believe it when I see it!
RAVEN: Swan and Klein really make her one hot hench-babe!
NARRATOR: Next day, atop the visitor's section of the Gotham City tower...
DR. Z: None of the other sightseers are watching!
BRAD: What's there to see? Some guy in a blood-red turban and a "Lucky Charms" bathrobe...
DR. Z: Quick, dump those leaflets!
BRAD: BAT-leaflets, be it noted...
NARRATOR: As the Bat-shaped leaflets blanket the city:
COP: "Batman! I will commit a $1,000,000 robbery in Gotham Central Park, tomorrow afternoon! Try and stop me! Dr. Zodiac." I don't know who this Dr. Zodiac is, but Batman can take him!
RAVEN: Does *every* bat-villain have to issue a challenge?
BRAD: They're just trying to emulate the Riddler.
RAVEN: Like *he* keeps winning...
NARRATOR: Shortly, at Police HQ:
GORDON: Frankly, I think it's a publicity stunt to advertise some new toy Batplane!
BRAD: You can see why he needs Batman...
ROBIN: You're right, Commissioner Gordon! Every novelty manufacturer is trying to cash in on Batman's popularity!
WALDO: Wait, you don't get a cut on the merch?
NARRATOR: But later, as a roving animal exhibit is put on display in Gotham Central Park...
ONLOOKER 3: A spotted gorilla and a two-headed ostrich! This modern Noah's Ark is terrific!
RAVEN: We've left the carnival, but not the freak show?
ONLOOKER 4: And how about that elephant with the coiled tusks? They say this is the most valuable collection of animal freaks in the world!
BRAD: This was before Captain Carrot.
GUIDE: Hey! The ark is moving! Who's in the driver's cab?
NARRATOR: Who, but the diabolical Dr. Zodiac?
DR. Z: Our first big haul! This collection of freak beast is worth a fortune! I told you Batman wouldn't be able to stop me!
HONEY: Stop gabbing and step on it, "Cash"!
WALDO: 10-4.
NARRATOR: Within seconds, a radio alert echoes in the Bat-Cave...
BRAD: A phone made from Red K?
GORDON: It happened, Batman! The million-dollar collection of rare animals has been kidnapped from Gotham Central Park. The thief is heading north!
WALDO: You mean it wasn't a new toy Batplane after alllllll?
BATMAN: That character, Zodiac, kept his promise. Let's go, Robin!
RAVEN: ZZZZZZZZZOOOMMM!
BATMAN: The highway leading crossed the rive at Lincoln Bridge. We'll try to cut him off there!
BRAD: I'm kinda surprised Batman didn't stake out the park... He *knows* how these things generally work...
NARRATOR: Presently, at the bridge...
HONEY: You and your horoscopes! I knew it was baloney! Here comes Batman. We haven't got a chance!
DR. Z: I'm not worried! According to that ancient astrology book, we can't miss! 4 o'clock has to be unlucky for him... and it's 4 p.m. now!
WALDO: Just in time for tea!
BRAD: That's in Londinium.
WALDO: Oh.
NARRATOR: Sure enough, in the next instant...
DR. Z: Look! The drawbridge is lifting to let that vessel through! Batman can't brake quick enough!
BRAD: So the vessel at the trestle helps the schmuck with the truck.
RAVEN: OW!
DR. Z: The Batmobile is taking off like a rocket! It's disaster time for Batman... 4 o'clock on the dot, just as the horoscope predicted! Ha, ha!
NARRATOR: Holy splashdown! It looks like the Dynamic Duo has really gone off the deep end this time! Are our heroes sunk? Turn to Part II. The *wettest* is yet to come!
BRAD: He's auditioning for the TV show.
RAVEN: I'm a wisecracker.
BRAD: And Waldo ––
WALDO: Lookin' good!
BRAD: And this time we've got an entry from DC's Go-Go Checks era: "The Fatal Forecasts of Doctor Zodiac!"
DR. Z: Superman! Batman! I, Doctor Zodiac, have read your destiny in the stars! I predict that if you dare to stop this crime – you will DIE!
ROBIN: Holy Horoscope! That astrologer's predictions always come true!
RAVEN: So he's a *smart* as--trologer.
ROBIN: How can we fight the supernatural?
WALDO: Can't use the bat-shark repellent for *this* one...
NARRATOR: Your two favorite heroes, Superman and Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder, in one adventure together!
RAVEN: That's three heroes! Can't you count?
BRAD: Apparently not subordinate clauses.
R&W: Huh?
NARRATOR: Meet Dr. Zodiac, the mystic master criminal who can read the future in the stars. Superstitious nonsense, you say? Then explain how his sinister horoscopes can predict Superman's and Batman's unlucky hours... and why it look like curtains for the World's Finest Team when destiny fulfills... "The Fatal Forecasts of Dr. Zodiac!"
BRAD: Where does one find a sinister horoscope?
RAVEN: Next to the nefarious sudoku.
WALDO: And the Jumble of Doom.
DR. Z: Just as my horoscope predicted, I've doomed Batman with cyanide gas... and I've already done away with Superman! Ha, ha! What a lucky day for crime, eh, Robin?
BRAD: Let's agree right off, no "Zodiac Killer" references.
RAVEN: No problem.
NARRATOR: At a Gotham City charity carnival, where the mighty Superman is a feature attraction ––
SUPERMAN: Tighten your seat-belts, kids! We're taking off!
KIDS: YIPPEE!
ONLOOKER: How I envy those youngsters! Superman is giving them a joy-ride in his special flying caterpillar.
WALDO: Palisades Park had nothing on this!
RAVEN: Couldn't afford the liability.
NARRATOR: Co-star at the carnival is the Caped Wonder, Batman...
BATMAN: Hold onto your crash helmets, fellows! We're going through the Tunnel of Fire!
KIDS: YAHOO!
ONLOOKER 2: Ha, ha! Those kids are having a ball riding through those harmless "flames" which Batman created out of special chemicals!
RAVEN: Thank you, Captain Exposition.
BRAD: No, he's Doctor Kiljoy.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the carnival midway...
MRS. BAXTER: I'm so worried about Myron. This is his first camping trip, and he's only 12! Suppose there's a storm?
MR. BAXTER: Our son is a Baxter! He'll make it okay!
BRAD: He's trying to take her mind of their kid by going to a carnival.
MR. BAXTER: Come on! I want to see this mind-reader!
WALDO: To him you'll be Large Print.
MARVELLO THE MYSTIC: Ah! A vibration from my crystal ball! I sense the presence of a Mr. and Mrs. Baxter! Put a dollar in the box, friends, and I will read your thoughts!
MR. BAXTER: Fantastic! He knew our names... and he's blindfolded! This ought to be worth a buck!
RAVEN: Don't anyone tell him about John Edward.
MARVELLO THE MYSTIC: I see a lad... in hiking clothes... A boy named Myron! You're worried about him. He's only 12... and on his first camping trip!
BRAD: But it's that doctor's report that *really* worries you...
MR. BAXTER: That's our son! How did you know we were worried about him?
SUPERMAN: I'll show you how! This faker has an electronic radio-receiver hidden under his blindfold!
MARVELLO -- AH HELL, DR. Z: What goes on here?
BATMAN: That receiver was tuned to this walkie-talkie radio operated by his accomplice.
RAVEN: Hubba hubba!
BATMAN: She read your lips with her binoculars and then radioed "Marvello" the information!
MR. BAXTER: It's Superman and Batman! We were conned!
BRAD: Out of a whole entire dollar!
WALDO: Which, in 1966, was worth -- a dollar!
SUPERMAN: "Marvello" is really "Cash" Carrigan, an ex-big wheel in the underworld who's on the skids now. And that's his moll!
RAVEN: Whose name is unimportant.
BRAD: But we call her Honey.
BALD GUY WITH STOGIE: I want no phonies in my carnival, Superman! These two are through!
WALDO: Now back to the nice clean hoochie dancer tent!
BGwS: Here comes the Sheriff! He'll take care of these tin-horns!
WALDO: And they go off in a Fugue.
DR. Z: Okay, we'll go! But I'll square this with you finks if it's the last thing I ever do!
BRAD: At the city limits...
HONEY: "Cash," I'm sick of this penny-ante carnival jazz! When are we going to get back into the big-time?
DR. Z: Relax, baby. I'll figure out an angle one of these days. Meanwhile, let's head for that town.
WALDO: Just a short ten-mile hike.
NARRATOR: Presently, on a small town main street...
BRAD: In front of Ye Olde Curio Shoppe...
DR. Z: Hey, look! A crystal ball! Just what we need to revive our mind-reading act. Wait out here!
HONEY: Oh, no! Here we go again!
RAVEN: Isn't that the last line?
DR. Z: Hi, pal! I want to buy one of those crystal balls in the window!
RAVEN: I'm busy digging out earwax with my bugle.
CODGER: Eh? Sorry! I don't want to disturb the window display. But you can pick one of the crystal balls on the shelves!
WALDO: And don't touch my wrinkle cream!
NARRATOR: But as "Cash" picks up one of the glittering spheres, he spots an ancient volume: "Book of Sephren, Astrologer and Seer to the Pharaoh Hotec."
DR. Z: (voiceover) Hey! This book is by a royal Egyptian fortune-teller... and it's translated into English!
RAVEN: Like all the best prophecies!
BRAD: Viz. The Bible Code.
DR. Z: (vo) *GASP* According to the translation, that astrologer tells how he used the positions of the stars to predict the pharaoh's future and to foretell his master's lucky and unlucky hours. He saved the old boy's life many times!
WALDO: No, Your Highness! Mustn't disturb the cobras while they're laying diamonds!
DR. Z: WOW! This ancient fortune teller never missed on a prediction! If this book of horoscopes is on the level, it'll help me get even with Batman and Superman! Boy... Revenge will be sweet!
RAVEN: He said all that out loud?
WALDO: Well, the storekeeper's hard of hearing...
BRAD: And harder of thinking...
DR. Z: (vo) The proprietor would probably want a fortune for a book like this! I'll sneak out with it! That old creep is too deaf to hear me!
RAVEN: "Cash" and carry.
NARRATOR: Days later, in a Gotham City hideout...
WALDO: Where'd they get the money to get back to Gotham?
RAVEN: And get a Zodiac wheel, and Merlin's smoking jacket.
BRAD: Just go with it.
DR. Z: You heard me, baby! From now on, my new alias is Dr. Zodiac. This book of astrology will help me get revenge against Superman and Batman!
HONEY: Astrology help you get those two? How?
WALDO: Astrology heap big help!
BRAD: Ugh.
DR. Z: According to the ancients, everyone has his personal horoscope. This is the guiding star under which he was born.
WALDO: As a car is my very own guiding star.
RAVEN: A 1928 Porter?
BRAD: Don't.
DR. Z: ...and determines his destiny... his luck, good or bad. It's all charted here in the twelve signs of the Zodiac.
BRAD: The Western, or solar, zodiac... but let's not get into that...
DR. Z: This volume shows how the old astrologers could predict the future from the stars. If I knew the birthday of Batman, I could determine his horoscope. Then I could pull crimes during the hours which are unlucky for him!
BRAD: It's so crazy it just might– no, it's just crazy.
HONEY: But how could you find out his birthday? It's top-secret!
DR. Z: So we'll use a secret weapon, doll, namely, YOU! Listen closely...
HONEY: Okay! But it still sounds kooky to me!
WALDO: Only because you've been paying attention.
NARRATOR: That same day, after Batman and Robin deliver some criminals to police headquarters...
RAVEN: Don't they just tie 'em to a lamppost?
BRAD: Not in the Sixties...
GYPSY: Batman, please help a poor woman. Give me a quarter and my trained parrot will guess your fortune! All you have to do is tell me your birthday!
BRAD: Right in front of the Police Station?
RAVEN: Well, this *is* Gotham. Only Batman can catch a crook.
BATMAN: Ha, ha! It's a deal! Get set, Polly: My birthday is April 25th!
ROBIN: Look! She cued him to pull out one of those folded pieces of paper from the box!
RAVEN: The Leo Dorfman school of scriptwriting: Leave no plot-point un-underlined.
NARRATOR: Yours is a future of fortune and fame! The world will echo with the sound of your name!
ROBIN: Right on the button! But how did that bird know which fortune to pick?
BATMAN: Here's the answer, Robin! Polly accidentally picked TWO fortunes for me... They're both exactly alike!
BRAD: And he didn't even get a lousy cracker.
ROBIN: I get it! It's all a petty con game. All the fortunes are the same, designed just to flatter the customer!
WALDO: Moves pretty quick for an old gal.
NARRATOR: Yes, it's a con-game, boys, but with a different purpose. Soon, in Dr. Zodiac's lair...
HONEY: I should rate a medal for finding out Batman's birthday!
WALDO: How often do you see a blonde Gypsy?
DR. Z: Great work, baby! April 25th falls under the sign of Taurus, the Bull! I'll have his horoscope figured in a minute!
BRAD: Say, the Bull would be a great sign for a millionaire playboy.
WALDO: Get serious.
DR. Z: WOW! According to this ancient book, the planets Saturn and Mars will be in opposition to Taurus at exactly 4 p.m. tomorrow. That's when Batman is due for a session of bad luck!
BRAD: How opportune, for a goon. (Backslash Yogi Bear)
DR. Z: So I'm picking that time to pull the crime-spectacular of the year! and Batman's horoscope says he won't be able to stop me!
HONEY: Sounds great! But I'll believe it when I see it!
RAVEN: Swan and Klein really make her one hot hench-babe!
NARRATOR: Next day, atop the visitor's section of the Gotham City tower...
DR. Z: None of the other sightseers are watching!
BRAD: What's there to see? Some guy in a blood-red turban and a "Lucky Charms" bathrobe...
DR. Z: Quick, dump those leaflets!
BRAD: BAT-leaflets, be it noted...
NARRATOR: As the Bat-shaped leaflets blanket the city:
COP: "Batman! I will commit a $1,000,000 robbery in Gotham Central Park, tomorrow afternoon! Try and stop me! Dr. Zodiac." I don't know who this Dr. Zodiac is, but Batman can take him!
RAVEN: Does *every* bat-villain have to issue a challenge?
BRAD: They're just trying to emulate the Riddler.
RAVEN: Like *he* keeps winning...
NARRATOR: Shortly, at Police HQ:
GORDON: Frankly, I think it's a publicity stunt to advertise some new toy Batplane!
BRAD: You can see why he needs Batman...
ROBIN: You're right, Commissioner Gordon! Every novelty manufacturer is trying to cash in on Batman's popularity!
WALDO: Wait, you don't get a cut on the merch?
NARRATOR: But later, as a roving animal exhibit is put on display in Gotham Central Park...
ONLOOKER 3: A spotted gorilla and a two-headed ostrich! This modern Noah's Ark is terrific!
RAVEN: We've left the carnival, but not the freak show?
ONLOOKER 4: And how about that elephant with the coiled tusks? They say this is the most valuable collection of animal freaks in the world!
BRAD: This was before Captain Carrot.
GUIDE: Hey! The ark is moving! Who's in the driver's cab?
NARRATOR: Who, but the diabolical Dr. Zodiac?
DR. Z: Our first big haul! This collection of freak beast is worth a fortune! I told you Batman wouldn't be able to stop me!
HONEY: Stop gabbing and step on it, "Cash"!
WALDO: 10-4.
NARRATOR: Within seconds, a radio alert echoes in the Bat-Cave...
BRAD: A phone made from Red K?
GORDON: It happened, Batman! The million-dollar collection of rare animals has been kidnapped from Gotham Central Park. The thief is heading north!
WALDO: You mean it wasn't a new toy Batplane after alllllll?
BATMAN: That character, Zodiac, kept his promise. Let's go, Robin!
RAVEN: ZZZZZZZZZOOOMMM!
BATMAN: The highway leading crossed the rive at Lincoln Bridge. We'll try to cut him off there!
BRAD: I'm kinda surprised Batman didn't stake out the park... He *knows* how these things generally work...
NARRATOR: Presently, at the bridge...
HONEY: You and your horoscopes! I knew it was baloney! Here comes Batman. We haven't got a chance!
DR. Z: I'm not worried! According to that ancient astrology book, we can't miss! 4 o'clock has to be unlucky for him... and it's 4 p.m. now!
WALDO: Just in time for tea!
BRAD: That's in Londinium.
WALDO: Oh.
NARRATOR: Sure enough, in the next instant...
DR. Z: Look! The drawbridge is lifting to let that vessel through! Batman can't brake quick enough!
BRAD: So the vessel at the trestle helps the schmuck with the truck.
RAVEN: OW!
DR. Z: The Batmobile is taking off like a rocket! It's disaster time for Batman... 4 o'clock on the dot, just as the horoscope predicted! Ha, ha!
NARRATOR: Holy splashdown! It looks like the Dynamic Duo has really gone off the deep end this time! Are our heroes sunk? Turn to Part II. The *wettest* is yet to come!
BRAD: He's auditioning for the TV show.
World's Finest #55: "The Bird Sayings Crimes!"
World's Finest #55
"The Bird Sayings Crimes!"
December -January, 1951-52
Script: Bill Woolfolk
Art: Lew Sayre Schwartz
Inks: Charles Paris
The Penguin has learned well from the birds and used this knowledge to
hatch many a criminal scheme. When the Birdman of Banditry decides to
let the Dynamic Duo in on his next crime plans, he is just asking for
trouble. For the most unusual Penguin story of all, listen to... "The
Bird Sayings Crimes!" On the splash page, the Penguin is being
congratulated on his successful bird saying crimes, and the featured
feast is four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. The gathered hoods
are startled to see Batman and Robin leaping out of the pie, and eager to
give Pengy his just desserts.
In his Aviary, the Penguin is celebrating his birthday by reading the
many tributes from the creme of the underworld. Seeing himself as the
maestro of crime, he is eager to savor their missives. Snakey Sid
regards his methods as dead as the dodo, Larceny Lou is sure that he will
soon be eating crow, and Brute Billings figures that the birthday boy
will be a jailbird soon enough. (Holy Alliteration, Batman!) Angered
over being mocked for his methods by bird sayings, the Penguin decides to
use them to hatch the most unforgettable crimes imaginable. Days pass,
with the Birdman of Banditry calling a meeting, and telling the assembled
hoods that he will send his plans to the Dynamic Duo before using them.
The Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder meet with Commissioner Gordon at
his office, and read the letter from the Penguin.
At stately Wayne Manor, Bruce and Dick go over the drawings contained in
the letter, and work to decipher their meaning. The four drawings are
bird proverbs, with the first referring to a bird in the hand being worth
two in the bush. The millionaire playboy deciphers the second and third
one which mean birds of a feather flock together, and the early bird gets
the worm. The fourth illustration shows the Dynamic Duo standing on a
scale, with the needle pointing at 14 lbs. Now in the Bat-Cave, Batman
wonders if "a bird in the hand" refers to Sir James Hand, the British
jurist of the 17th Century, while Robin reads about the Hand, a term
which describes the Bay of Bunting in Liberia. All through the night,
the Dynamic Duo read about the Hand Of Destiny... a statue by Vernier in
Paris, but it is the Caped Crusader who finds the solution in the
horizontal markings on the drawn hand.
The following morning finds the Penguin perched atop the hand of the
Statue of Liberty. A trained homing pigeon flies from the incoming ship
and lands in his outstretched hand with $100,000 in gems. This is the
first crime -- A Bird In The Hand. Batman had noticed that the
horizontal markings referred to the sections used in the construction of
the statue. Both he and Robin use their lariats to climb up the side of
the statue. As the Dynamic Duo make their way up, the Penguin uses his
umbrella to head down. As the Boy Wonder cuts the slack of his cord, the
Caped Crusader manages to kick the sack of gems into his partner's hand.
SPLASH! The birdman of banditry dives into the water and uses a special
umbrella attachment to breathe underwater. Back at his Aviary, the
Penguin smiles at his Lazuli Bunting Bird. Although the Dynamic Duo have
ruined his first plan, the second one will no doubt succeed. In the
Bat-Cave, Robin wonders what "Birds of A Feather Flock Together" means.
Batman is certain that a book on America's Families will be of some help.
They must get in touch with a human bird... Jonathan Byrd -- the
descendant of Ezekiel Byrd, the revolutionary war hero. Days pass, and
in the Carlton Caverns, Byrd is speaking to the members of his family.
They have gathered, clad in the uniform of their illustrious ancestor,
and stand in the very spot where Ezekiel fought his battle against the
British.
Each year, a member of the Byrd family is singled out for their
accomplishments, and Miss Ellen Byrd has been chosen. As the actress is
presented with her gifts, there is another who seeks to feather his nest
with the jewelry. Before he can reach the treasure, the Penguin learns
that a Robin and a Bat have decided to stand guard in the underground
cave. The top-hatted terror decides to make a break for it, with the Boy
Wonder in pursuit, but a shrieking cry for help catches his attention.
The Caped Crusader knows that this is another of the Penguin's tricks.
By the time they reach the mouth of the cave, the entrance has been
hot-wired by the Penguin's umbrella.
As they cut their way through the wire, Robin asks Batman how he knew
that it wasn't a genuine cry for help. When the Boy Wonder follows the
voice, he soon returns with a caged bird, which the Caped Crusader
identifies as the Lazuli Bunting Bird. Back at the Bat-Cave, Robin
deciphers the next puzzle as "The Early Bird Gets The Worm," while Batman
puzzles out the picture of them on a scale. As the Dynamic Duo continue
to search for the answer, the Penguin is digging his way towards a big
inch pipe line. By the morning, the "early bird" uses a pickaxe to make
a few holes in the "worm."
The damaged pipeline sends columns of oil towards a building, where two
guards are carrying a $50,000 cash payroll. As the startled men find
their eyes blinded by the oil, the Penguin is protected by his trusty
umbrella. After binding the guards, the top-hatted terror disposes of
the money, and leaves a feather as a clue for Batman in reference of his
fourth crime. Batman and Robin has figured out that a big inch pipeline
is often referred to as a big worm. The oily bird has gotten the worm
and uses an acetylene torch umbrella to ignite the oil column.
A foul play from the brassy bird, as the Dynamic Duo must prevent the
flames from reaching the houses. The Boy Wonder phones the main office
to shut off the feed valve, then aids his partner with the water hoses.
Robin knows that the only way to fight an oil fire is with fire foam, but
Batman knows that oil floats on water, and this way, the flames can be
brought down. After stopping the fire, they find the feather from a
King-Fisher Bird. The faint scent of fish means the Penguin stuffed the
cash into some fresh fish, which were fed to the flock of Kingfishers.
The two crime fighters head for a motorboat, where the Caped Crusader
searches for Kingfisher nests, which are hollowed out in river banks.
The cagey bird didn't want his birds to fly away with the money.
The Kingfisher nests are empty, but the Boy Wonder finds a fresh
footprint, and sees that it's just Pengy's size. As they follow the
footprints, a bird call is heard coming from inside a house, and Batman
knows that they've just walked into a trap. When Robin asks how a bird
call could be dangerous, the Caped Crusader identifies it as a stonebird,
and knows that this is the answer to the fourth puzzle. The needle on
the scale is pointing to fourteen pounds, the unit of weight used by the
word stone. They are the two birds to be killed with one stone. The
Penguin gets the drop on them and holds a gun on them. After Robin ties
up Batman, the cagey crook ties him, and leads them into the garage.
The Caped Crusader knows that both he and Robin are the two bird, then
asks about the stone. The Penguin smiles and tells them that the
stonebird will head out for breakfast at dawn. The bird will pass by an
electric eye, causing the dynamite to go off. The Birdman of Banditry
decides to hit the sack, with the upcoming explosion to be his wake-up
call. Although they could sever their bonds against the rough stone
wall, this would take too long. Batman twists his utility belt so that
Robin can reach it, and pull the marble from its compartment. The Boy
Wonder also grabs for the paints used for quick disguises, too. The
stonebird is a she and the Caped Crusader is counting on the fact that
the stonebird won't leave her nest until the egg is hatched. With his
hands bound behind him, Batman begins to paint the marble to resemble an
egg.
Minutes pass, with the Caped Crusader taking aim with the marble towards
the nest. Bull's-eye! Now they are free to rub the ropes against the
stone wall. The Penguin wakes up to the sound of the stonebird now
outside his window. After wondering how he could have slept through the
explosion, the wily bird decides to take a look. AWWWK! The pudgy
Penguin is seized by the arms of Batman, who is being held upside-down by
Robin on the roof of the house. Now back in his jail cell, the Penguin
sees two workmen painting the walls. The Warden had authorized this
task, but it was the Dynamic Duo's idea to provide a suitable end to the
bird sayings crimes. Now, he is only a bird in a gilded cage. Robin
smiles and asks if they need to draw him a picture, too.
This story was reprinted in DC Special #14 (September - October, 1971).
On an episode of the 1960's Batman TV series, it was Alfred who was about
to be baked in a pie.
I like the look of these 1950's Batman stories with the scroll-like
introduction of the story title and the distinctive appearance of the
Penguin.
It was a pleasure meeting Lew Sayre Schwartz at San Diego Comic-Con a
couple of years ago.
The artist was kind enough to sign an 80 Page Giant for me which
reprinted the Caped Crusader's origin from Batman #47.
Mr. Schwartz was also delighted to learn that folks on SAR were aware of
his work on the character, and still enjoying it after all these years.
Speaking of drawings, it was a thrill to get a signed drawing from him,
as well as learning that it had been a long time since he had done a
drawing of Batman.
I'm assuming that the Dynamic Duo took the Batplane to New York City, and
that the Statue of Liberty is not located in Gotham City. (Holy Joel
Schumacher, Batman!)
It's good to see that the Penguin actually got some use from his trick
umbrellas in this story.
We learn that the Penguin's bird call is "AWWWK!" when he is caught by
the Caped Crusader, who has a "KEW! KEW! KEW!" head on his shoulders.
Steve Chung
"The Bird Sayings Review!"
December -January, 1951-52
Script: Bill Woolfolk
Art: Lew Sayre Schwartz
Inks: Charles Paris
The Penguin has learned well from the birds and used this knowledge to
hatch many a criminal scheme. When the Birdman of Banditry decides to
let the Dynamic Duo in on his next crime plans, he is just asking for
trouble. For the most unusual Penguin story of all, listen to... "The
Bird Sayings Crimes!" On the splash page, the Penguin is being
congratulated on his successful bird saying crimes, and the featured
feast is four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. The gathered hoods
are startled to see Batman and Robin leaping out of the pie, and eager to
give Pengy his just desserts.
In his Aviary, the Penguin is celebrating his birthday by reading the
many tributes from the creme of the underworld. Seeing himself as the
maestro of crime, he is eager to savor their missives. Snakey Sid
regards his methods as dead as the dodo, Larceny Lou is sure that he will
soon be eating crow, and Brute Billings figures that the birthday boy
will be a jailbird soon enough. (Holy Alliteration, Batman!) Angered
over being mocked for his methods by bird sayings, the Penguin decides to
use them to hatch the most unforgettable crimes imaginable. Days pass,
with the Birdman of Banditry calling a meeting, and telling the assembled
hoods that he will send his plans to the Dynamic Duo before using them.
The Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder meet with Commissioner Gordon at
his office, and read the letter from the Penguin.
At stately Wayne Manor, Bruce and Dick go over the drawings contained in
the letter, and work to decipher their meaning. The four drawings are
bird proverbs, with the first referring to a bird in the hand being worth
two in the bush. The millionaire playboy deciphers the second and third
one which mean birds of a feather flock together, and the early bird gets
the worm. The fourth illustration shows the Dynamic Duo standing on a
scale, with the needle pointing at 14 lbs. Now in the Bat-Cave, Batman
wonders if "a bird in the hand" refers to Sir James Hand, the British
jurist of the 17th Century, while Robin reads about the Hand, a term
which describes the Bay of Bunting in Liberia. All through the night,
the Dynamic Duo read about the Hand Of Destiny... a statue by Vernier in
Paris, but it is the Caped Crusader who finds the solution in the
horizontal markings on the drawn hand.
The following morning finds the Penguin perched atop the hand of the
Statue of Liberty. A trained homing pigeon flies from the incoming ship
and lands in his outstretched hand with $100,000 in gems. This is the
first crime -- A Bird In The Hand. Batman had noticed that the
horizontal markings referred to the sections used in the construction of
the statue. Both he and Robin use their lariats to climb up the side of
the statue. As the Dynamic Duo make their way up, the Penguin uses his
umbrella to head down. As the Boy Wonder cuts the slack of his cord, the
Caped Crusader manages to kick the sack of gems into his partner's hand.
SPLASH! The birdman of banditry dives into the water and uses a special
umbrella attachment to breathe underwater. Back at his Aviary, the
Penguin smiles at his Lazuli Bunting Bird. Although the Dynamic Duo have
ruined his first plan, the second one will no doubt succeed. In the
Bat-Cave, Robin wonders what "Birds of A Feather Flock Together" means.
Batman is certain that a book on America's Families will be of some help.
They must get in touch with a human bird... Jonathan Byrd -- the
descendant of Ezekiel Byrd, the revolutionary war hero. Days pass, and
in the Carlton Caverns, Byrd is speaking to the members of his family.
They have gathered, clad in the uniform of their illustrious ancestor,
and stand in the very spot where Ezekiel fought his battle against the
British.
Each year, a member of the Byrd family is singled out for their
accomplishments, and Miss Ellen Byrd has been chosen. As the actress is
presented with her gifts, there is another who seeks to feather his nest
with the jewelry. Before he can reach the treasure, the Penguin learns
that a Robin and a Bat have decided to stand guard in the underground
cave. The top-hatted terror decides to make a break for it, with the Boy
Wonder in pursuit, but a shrieking cry for help catches his attention.
The Caped Crusader knows that this is another of the Penguin's tricks.
By the time they reach the mouth of the cave, the entrance has been
hot-wired by the Penguin's umbrella.
As they cut their way through the wire, Robin asks Batman how he knew
that it wasn't a genuine cry for help. When the Boy Wonder follows the
voice, he soon returns with a caged bird, which the Caped Crusader
identifies as the Lazuli Bunting Bird. Back at the Bat-Cave, Robin
deciphers the next puzzle as "The Early Bird Gets The Worm," while Batman
puzzles out the picture of them on a scale. As the Dynamic Duo continue
to search for the answer, the Penguin is digging his way towards a big
inch pipe line. By the morning, the "early bird" uses a pickaxe to make
a few holes in the "worm."
The damaged pipeline sends columns of oil towards a building, where two
guards are carrying a $50,000 cash payroll. As the startled men find
their eyes blinded by the oil, the Penguin is protected by his trusty
umbrella. After binding the guards, the top-hatted terror disposes of
the money, and leaves a feather as a clue for Batman in reference of his
fourth crime. Batman and Robin has figured out that a big inch pipeline
is often referred to as a big worm. The oily bird has gotten the worm
and uses an acetylene torch umbrella to ignite the oil column.
A foul play from the brassy bird, as the Dynamic Duo must prevent the
flames from reaching the houses. The Boy Wonder phones the main office
to shut off the feed valve, then aids his partner with the water hoses.
Robin knows that the only way to fight an oil fire is with fire foam, but
Batman knows that oil floats on water, and this way, the flames can be
brought down. After stopping the fire, they find the feather from a
King-Fisher Bird. The faint scent of fish means the Penguin stuffed the
cash into some fresh fish, which were fed to the flock of Kingfishers.
The two crime fighters head for a motorboat, where the Caped Crusader
searches for Kingfisher nests, which are hollowed out in river banks.
The cagey bird didn't want his birds to fly away with the money.
The Kingfisher nests are empty, but the Boy Wonder finds a fresh
footprint, and sees that it's just Pengy's size. As they follow the
footprints, a bird call is heard coming from inside a house, and Batman
knows that they've just walked into a trap. When Robin asks how a bird
call could be dangerous, the Caped Crusader identifies it as a stonebird,
and knows that this is the answer to the fourth puzzle. The needle on
the scale is pointing to fourteen pounds, the unit of weight used by the
word stone. They are the two birds to be killed with one stone. The
Penguin gets the drop on them and holds a gun on them. After Robin ties
up Batman, the cagey crook ties him, and leads them into the garage.
The Caped Crusader knows that both he and Robin are the two bird, then
asks about the stone. The Penguin smiles and tells them that the
stonebird will head out for breakfast at dawn. The bird will pass by an
electric eye, causing the dynamite to go off. The Birdman of Banditry
decides to hit the sack, with the upcoming explosion to be his wake-up
call. Although they could sever their bonds against the rough stone
wall, this would take too long. Batman twists his utility belt so that
Robin can reach it, and pull the marble from its compartment. The Boy
Wonder also grabs for the paints used for quick disguises, too. The
stonebird is a she and the Caped Crusader is counting on the fact that
the stonebird won't leave her nest until the egg is hatched. With his
hands bound behind him, Batman begins to paint the marble to resemble an
egg.
Minutes pass, with the Caped Crusader taking aim with the marble towards
the nest. Bull's-eye! Now they are free to rub the ropes against the
stone wall. The Penguin wakes up to the sound of the stonebird now
outside his window. After wondering how he could have slept through the
explosion, the wily bird decides to take a look. AWWWK! The pudgy
Penguin is seized by the arms of Batman, who is being held upside-down by
Robin on the roof of the house. Now back in his jail cell, the Penguin
sees two workmen painting the walls. The Warden had authorized this
task, but it was the Dynamic Duo's idea to provide a suitable end to the
bird sayings crimes. Now, he is only a bird in a gilded cage. Robin
smiles and asks if they need to draw him a picture, too.
This story was reprinted in DC Special #14 (September - October, 1971).
On an episode of the 1960's Batman TV series, it was Alfred who was about
to be baked in a pie.
I like the look of these 1950's Batman stories with the scroll-like
introduction of the story title and the distinctive appearance of the
Penguin.
It was a pleasure meeting Lew Sayre Schwartz at San Diego Comic-Con a
couple of years ago.
The artist was kind enough to sign an 80 Page Giant for me which
reprinted the Caped Crusader's origin from Batman #47.
Mr. Schwartz was also delighted to learn that folks on SAR were aware of
his work on the character, and still enjoying it after all these years.
Speaking of drawings, it was a thrill to get a signed drawing from him,
as well as learning that it had been a long time since he had done a
drawing of Batman.
I'm assuming that the Dynamic Duo took the Batplane to New York City, and
that the Statue of Liberty is not located in Gotham City. (Holy Joel
Schumacher, Batman!)
It's good to see that the Penguin actually got some use from his trick
umbrellas in this story.
We learn that the Penguin's bird call is "AWWWK!" when he is caught by
the Caped Crusader, who has a "KEW! KEW! KEW!" head on his shoulders.
Steve Chung
"The Bird Sayings Review!"
World's Finest #111 - "The Crimes of the Clock King"
World's Finest #111 - "The Crimes of the Clock King"
Published August 1960
Edited by Jack Schiff
Writen by France Harron
Art by Lee Elias
"You've heard of many kinds of clocks--but did you ever hear of a clock
that not only runs but walks as well? No--this is not a riddle but the
elusive subject of the search by those famed archers, Green Arrow and
Speedy, who attempt to stop... the Crimes of the Clock King."
------------
It's a gala night in Star City. There's a lavish costume party going on
at the elegant Ritz-Royal Hotel, and the city's wealthy and elite are
all in attendance, each clad in fantastic outfits. One of the guests is
dressed very oddly - a blue suit covered with clock faces, and a green
mask with a clock's face obscuring his own. Watching from the balcony,
the watch-wardrobed figure scans the room. He knows which women are
wearing the most valuable jewels, but is unable to identify them due to
the masks they're wearing. They'll unmask at midnight, however, that is
when he's planning his escape. He has to speed up the timetable and get
them to unmask earlier, and a plan is forming...
The clock soon strikes 12 and the patrons remove their masks. But to
their shock, the room is plunged into darkness instantly afterwards. In
the blackout, the thief snatches jewelry from his targets and escapes
hrough a window. He's succeeded in his heist and his plan was so
simple - all he did was move the minute hand forward!
Almost immediately after the theft, a glowing green arrow is fired from
the police headquarters, illuminating the sky. Oliver Queen and his
ward Roy Harper spot the signal and realize that they're needed to
fight crime as Green Arrow and Speedy. Quickly changing into their
costumes, they take the Arrowcar to the hotel where the heist took plce
and are propelled up to the rooftop, where the criminal stands by the
clock tower. But the timepiece-inspired thief isn't at all worried.
It's midnight, and the mechanical figurines are emerging from the tower
to signal the midnight hour. He can use this opportunity to make his
way down through the tower and escape. As the heroic archers' rope
arrows lasso what they percieve to be the felon, they are stunned to
see him bang the drum held by one of the figurines with a mallet.
They've been tricked! The thief put his costume around one of the
figures. With no leads to follow, the defeated heroes can do nothing
but return home.
In the following days, the Clock King carries out a series of precision
robberies. He strikes the Tick-Tock Club, the Idle Hour Inn, and the
Minute-Man Savings Bank, leaving law enforcement helpless to stop him.
Back at the base of our heroes, Speedy picks up on the fact that all of
the Clock King's robberies are involved with time... or clocks, as
Green Arrow realizes. He announces that they'll continue patroling town
in hopes of finding out the crook's pattern and stopping him.
As fortune would have it, the Clock King is active that very night,
breaking into a store specializing in rare art and antiques. But as he
pries the door open, the burglar alarm starts to blare. He isn't
worried, however, as he prepared for this contingency. As the Clock
King slips into the shop, the clocks at the jewelry store next door go
off at the same time, creating a cacophony that drowns out the alarm.
Green Arrow and Speedy arrive on the scene, and the Emerald Archer
determines that the racket is a distraction. Investigating the art
gallery aside it, they catch their foe making off with an armful of
rolled-up paintings. Stunned, the Clock King makes his escape through
the back alleys, dodging the volley of arrows followed by his two foes
until he darts into a building that serves as his hideout.
The heroic duo enter the Clock King's lair, which fittingly reflects
the criminal's MO: the walls are plastered with clocks and a giant
clock's face is painted on the floor. As Green Arrow and Speedy
approach their quarry, they cross over the floor design... and fall
through a trapdoor activated by the Clock King! The archers find
themselves in a giant hourglass with the sand quickly falling. This is
no ordinary hourglass, however - the sand is falling into a pit filled
with razor-sharp spikes, waiting to skewer the heroes once they fall
in! Thinking quickly, G.A. fires a suction-cup arrow at the ceiling. He
and Speedy climb up and force the trapdoor open. Clock King is caught
off guard by their emergence, and the archers use that to their
advantage, using their arrows to pin his cape to the wall and keep him
from moving. The Clock King's crime spree has been brought to an end -
now instead of basing his thefts around time, he'll simply be doing
time.
------------
First appearance of the Clock King, whose true name is William Tockman.
Tockman was initially portrayed as a gimmick villain who wanted to get
rich quick, but later incarnations revised his origin. Believing he
only had six months to live, he wanted to amass enough money for his
invalid sister to provide for her after his death. He studied the
timing of a bank vault in order to rob it, and succeeded... but
accidentally tripped a silent alarm on his escape and was apprehended
by Green Arrow. While in prison, his sister passed away and he learned
that he was not terminally ill - the doctor had made a mistake. Tockman
snapped and escaped, taking on the mantle of Clock King and vowing
revenge against Green Lantern.
Clock King was a member of Major Disaster's unsuccessful incarnation of
the Injustice League, and later recruited for a new Suicide Squad. Not
adept at combat, however, Tockman died in his first mission.
Though initially conceived as a Green Arrow foe, Clock King has been
popularly portrayed as an enemy of Batman. In the 1960s live-action
series the criminal, portrayed by Walter Slezak, attempted a number of
clock-themed robberies and utilized various trick timepieces. In an
homage to his first comic appearance, he trapped the Dynamic Duo in a
giant hourglass and attempted to bury them alive in sand, but failed
and was arrested.
The Batman animated series of the 1990s introduced a new Clock King,
voiced by Alan Rachins. His true identity was Temple Fugate (a play
on "Tempus fugit", Latin for "time flies"), an efficiency expert
obsessed with punctuality. Fugate held a grudge against Gotham's mayor,
Hamilton Hill, because years ago Hill convinced him to abandon his
schedule before a court hearing against his to calm his nerves. He took
the suggestion, but an unfortunate series of events caused Fugate to
lose his files and arrive late to the hearing, resulting in the judge
ruling against his company for $20 million. Fugate snapped, and
embarked on revenge against Hill years later, first seeking to
discredit the mayor, then killing him for committing the worst offense -
making him late. This incarnation of the Clock King had encyclopedic
knowledge of schedules, electronics skills, and an incredible sense of
timing; he could even time how long it took Batman to throw a punch,
allowing him to dodge it.
In the series "Justice League Unlimited", Fugate returned, again voiced
by Rachins, to help Task Force X (a allusion to the Suicide Squad) lead
a raid on the Justice League Watchtower to steal an incredible weapon.
His planning and knowledge of the League's schedule made him a valuable
asset to the group, in contrast to his performance in the comics'
Suicide Squad.
Edited by Jack Schiff
Writen by France Harron
Art by Lee Elias
"You've heard of many kinds of clocks--but did you ever hear of a clock
that not only runs but walks as well? No--this is not a riddle but the
elusive subject of the search by those famed archers, Green Arrow and
Speedy, who attempt to stop... the Crimes of the Clock King."
------------
It's a gala night in Star City. There's a lavish costume party going on
at the elegant Ritz-Royal Hotel, and the city's wealthy and elite are
all in attendance, each clad in fantastic outfits. One of the guests is
dressed very oddly - a blue suit covered with clock faces, and a green
mask with a clock's face obscuring his own. Watching from the balcony,
the watch-wardrobed figure scans the room. He knows which women are
wearing the most valuable jewels, but is unable to identify them due to
the masks they're wearing. They'll unmask at midnight, however, that is
when he's planning his escape. He has to speed up the timetable and get
them to unmask earlier, and a plan is forming...
The clock soon strikes 12 and the patrons remove their masks. But to
their shock, the room is plunged into darkness instantly afterwards. In
the blackout, the thief snatches jewelry from his targets and escapes
hrough a window. He's succeeded in his heist and his plan was so
simple - all he did was move the minute hand forward!
Almost immediately after the theft, a glowing green arrow is fired from
the police headquarters, illuminating the sky. Oliver Queen and his
ward Roy Harper spot the signal and realize that they're needed to
fight crime as Green Arrow and Speedy. Quickly changing into their
costumes, they take the Arrowcar to the hotel where the heist took plce
and are propelled up to the rooftop, where the criminal stands by the
clock tower. But the timepiece-inspired thief isn't at all worried.
It's midnight, and the mechanical figurines are emerging from the tower
to signal the midnight hour. He can use this opportunity to make his
way down through the tower and escape. As the heroic archers' rope
arrows lasso what they percieve to be the felon, they are stunned to
see him bang the drum held by one of the figurines with a mallet.
They've been tricked! The thief put his costume around one of the
figures. With no leads to follow, the defeated heroes can do nothing
but return home.
In the following days, the Clock King carries out a series of precision
robberies. He strikes the Tick-Tock Club, the Idle Hour Inn, and the
Minute-Man Savings Bank, leaving law enforcement helpless to stop him.
Back at the base of our heroes, Speedy picks up on the fact that all of
the Clock King's robberies are involved with time... or clocks, as
Green Arrow realizes. He announces that they'll continue patroling town
in hopes of finding out the crook's pattern and stopping him.
As fortune would have it, the Clock King is active that very night,
breaking into a store specializing in rare art and antiques. But as he
pries the door open, the burglar alarm starts to blare. He isn't
worried, however, as he prepared for this contingency. As the Clock
King slips into the shop, the clocks at the jewelry store next door go
off at the same time, creating a cacophony that drowns out the alarm.
Green Arrow and Speedy arrive on the scene, and the Emerald Archer
determines that the racket is a distraction. Investigating the art
gallery aside it, they catch their foe making off with an armful of
rolled-up paintings. Stunned, the Clock King makes his escape through
the back alleys, dodging the volley of arrows followed by his two foes
until he darts into a building that serves as his hideout.
The heroic duo enter the Clock King's lair, which fittingly reflects
the criminal's MO: the walls are plastered with clocks and a giant
clock's face is painted on the floor. As Green Arrow and Speedy
approach their quarry, they cross over the floor design... and fall
through a trapdoor activated by the Clock King! The archers find
themselves in a giant hourglass with the sand quickly falling. This is
no ordinary hourglass, however - the sand is falling into a pit filled
with razor-sharp spikes, waiting to skewer the heroes once they fall
in! Thinking quickly, G.A. fires a suction-cup arrow at the ceiling. He
and Speedy climb up and force the trapdoor open. Clock King is caught
off guard by their emergence, and the archers use that to their
advantage, using their arrows to pin his cape to the wall and keep him
from moving. The Clock King's crime spree has been brought to an end -
now instead of basing his thefts around time, he'll simply be doing
time.
------------
First appearance of the Clock King, whose true name is William Tockman.
Tockman was initially portrayed as a gimmick villain who wanted to get
rich quick, but later incarnations revised his origin. Believing he
only had six months to live, he wanted to amass enough money for his
invalid sister to provide for her after his death. He studied the
timing of a bank vault in order to rob it, and succeeded... but
accidentally tripped a silent alarm on his escape and was apprehended
by Green Arrow. While in prison, his sister passed away and he learned
that he was not terminally ill - the doctor had made a mistake. Tockman
snapped and escaped, taking on the mantle of Clock King and vowing
revenge against Green Lantern.
Clock King was a member of Major Disaster's unsuccessful incarnation of
the Injustice League, and later recruited for a new Suicide Squad. Not
adept at combat, however, Tockman died in his first mission.
Though initially conceived as a Green Arrow foe, Clock King has been
popularly portrayed as an enemy of Batman. In the 1960s live-action
series the criminal, portrayed by Walter Slezak, attempted a number of
clock-themed robberies and utilized various trick timepieces. In an
homage to his first comic appearance, he trapped the Dynamic Duo in a
giant hourglass and attempted to bury them alive in sand, but failed
and was arrested.
The Batman animated series of the 1990s introduced a new Clock King,
voiced by Alan Rachins. His true identity was Temple Fugate (a play
on "Tempus fugit", Latin for "time flies"), an efficiency expert
obsessed with punctuality. Fugate held a grudge against Gotham's mayor,
Hamilton Hill, because years ago Hill convinced him to abandon his
schedule before a court hearing against his to calm his nerves. He took
the suggestion, but an unfortunate series of events caused Fugate to
lose his files and arrive late to the hearing, resulting in the judge
ruling against his company for $20 million. Fugate snapped, and
embarked on revenge against Hill years later, first seeking to
discredit the mayor, then killing him for committing the worst offense -
making him late. This incarnation of the Clock King had encyclopedic
knowledge of schedules, electronics skills, and an incredible sense of
timing; he could even time how long it took Batman to throw a punch,
allowing him to dodge it.
In the series "Justice League Unlimited", Fugate returned, again voiced
by Rachins, to help Task Force X (a allusion to the Suicide Squad) lead
a raid on the Justice League Watchtower to steal an incredible weapon.
His planning and knowledge of the League's schedule made him a valuable
asset to the group, in contrast to his performance in the comics'
Suicide Squad.
World's Finest Comics #169
World's Finest Comics #169 (Sept 1967)
The cover by Curt Swan and George Klein depicted an unshaven, powerless Superman struggling to help Batman repair a broken-down Batmobile, as Supergirl and Batgirl hide behind a fence, gloating. It looks to me like another case of a cover being designed before the story was written, but judge for yourself.
"The Supergirl - Batgirl Plot"
Script: Cary Bates
Pencils: Curt Swan
Inks: George Klein
As the story opens, Supergirl is flying on patrol over an empty field somewhere between Stanhope College and Gotham City, when a huge cloud in the shape of a human hand appears out of nowhere and tries to grab her. Naturally, her own counterattacks pass through the gaseous creature with no effect, but when it catches her, the vapor is so intensely cold that it makes even her shiver.
At that moment, Gotham's newest crimefighter, the Dominoed Dare-doll, Batgirl, arrives on a Bat-Scooter. She tosses a chemical grenade at the giant fist, but it too has no effect, and the hand scoops her up as well. In desperation, Supergirl focuses her X-ray vision on the chemical residue from Batgirl's bomb. The X-rays alter the chemicals, somehow causing the cloud-hand to explode, and the two new friends congratulate one another on their teamwork.
Later that day, in their sorority house and library office respectively, Linda Danvers and Barbara Gordon watch a televised ceremony honoring Batman and Superman, as trophies of their past cases are placed into a time capsule to be launched into orbit for 500 years. They think, why shouldn't Supergirl and Batgirl get the same glory?
(What was the obsession with time capsules during the Silver Age? I can think of several more DC stories involving time capsules. Was this a fad that I missed in the sixties? Was there a fear that the commie hordes were going to wipe out all our museums and libraries, so that historical records had to be buried or launched into space to preserve them?)
The next day, Superman appears at a public ceremony to place the cornerstone of a new skyscraper -- that's already been built. As he shoves the stone into place, he pushes a bit too hard, and the tower begins to topple toward the crowd. Superman tries to fly up to catch it, but his powers suddenly and inexplicably vanish. Fortunately, Supergirl arrives at that moment to save the crowd. When her cousin's powers return moments later, the two fly off. Superman wonders what caused his powers to fail, and Supergirl thinks to herself that she was responsible, and that "this super-oaf" will soon be "as popular in Metropolis as an anteater in a flea circus."
That evening at Gotham's annual Fair of the Future, the Dynamic Duo corners a desperate criminal atop an atomic reactor. Robin tries to tackle the crook, but stumbles, allowing the fugitive to get him in a hammerlock. Batman thinks that "there's only one way to save Robin;" he drops to his knees and begs for Robin's life. The crook just laughs and throws the Boy Wonder down into the reactor -- but Batgirl arrives on the scene, rescues Robin with a Batrope, and subdues the criminal with a judo flip. Batman and Robin are both puzzled by Batman's compulsion to plead, and Batgirl thinks that "the gallant Caped Crusader will soon find out that his troubles are only beginning!"
A series of similar events over the next few days cause the World's Finest Team to suspect that their female counterparts are somehow behind their troubles, and note that Batgirl is still an unknown quantity. "Holy alter-ego!" Robin comments. "She might be a criminal... maybe even an alien!" Meanwhile, Batgirl and Supergirl, in a hidden cavern miles away, decide that "it's time for Step Two of Operation Take-Over!"
Batman and Robin, returning from an important case, find that the hidden entrance to the Batcave doesn't open as they approach. Parking the Batmobile outside, they enter Wayne Manor and take the elevator down to the cave, only to find it completely empty! At the same time, in the arctic, Superman finds his young cousin carrying his Fortress of Solitude away to a new location. When he confronts her, his powers disappear again, and he plummets into a snowdrift. Hours later, Batman and Robin, flying to the Fortress in the Batplane (which had been hangared somewhere outside the Batcave), spot Superman lying in the snow and give him a ride back to Metropolis. They wonder how Batgirl learned the Batcave's location and emptied it, and whether she is working with Supergirl or has super-powers herself.
The next day, the Dynamic Duo barges into the hideout of a criminal gang they'd been trailing, and makes short work of them. (Personal note: During this fight, Robin's mask somehow vanished from his face. The second letter I ever wrote to a comic was to point out this fact. Yes, I was an 8-year-old boo-boo hunter. The letter wasn't published, but I did receive a nice form letter on sage green paper, answering frequently-asked questions about the Superman Family.) As Batman ties up the gangsters, Robin goes out to the plane to radio Commissioner Gordon. When he doesn't return, Batman goes outside to find him and the plane gone without a sound -- and a Bat-Compact laying on the ground.
Later, Batman drives to Metropolis to find Superman at the side of the road, hitchhiking. His powers gone, his face covered with stubble, and his Clark Kent clothes missing, the Man of Steel had no other means of transportation. Batman drives Superman back to Gotham, planning to stop at Wayne Manor to pick up some things, but when he removes his mask to change to Bruce Wayne he finds that his face now resembles Curt Swan.
The heroes spend the night searching in vain for clues, when one of the Batmobile's supposedly blowout-proof tires gets a flat, and the car slams into a pole. In the scene from the cover, Superman struggles to pump up the tire while Batman notes that even the spare is flat. Suddenly, Supergirl and Batgirl step out from behind a fence and challenge their male counterparts to a showdown. Supergirl dares her cousin to catch her as she flies into space, and with a gesture she restores his powers and even makes his beard disappear. As he flies in pursuit, she hurls a meteor at him. He thinks she's gone crazy, but then his X-ray vision reveals that the meteor has a kryptonite core, making him wonder why she wasn't affected by it. He tosses another meteor at it, knocking it back at her, and it knocks her unconscious -- from the impact, not from the green K. He realizes that she couldn't be the real Supergirl, and surely enough, underneath a face mask and wig, she's really Black Flame, a Kandorian villainess who lost her powers years ago from gold K exposure.
Back on Earth, Batgirl pulls out a Bat-Whistle, which produces sonic vibrations that cause the sign on a tailor shop to break loose. The giant scissors that were part of the display pin Batman's cape to the ground; but he's still able to toss a Batarang, wrapping Batgirl up tight. He removes her mask, to find the face of Selina Kyle -- the Catwoman! ("Meow, Darling!")
Back in the Batcave, the heroes question the villainesses, now dressed in their own costumes. Black Flame explains that she invented a serum to restore her powers and give her immunity to kryptonite, though she was not as invulnerable as before. She used an enlarging spray to escape Kandor, and a brain command ring to make Superman think his powers were gone and that his and Batman's faces had changed, and Catwoman used a special variety of catnip to induce Batman's cowardice.
The next panel confuses me to this day. I think it only makes sense if Cary Bates assumed that the villainesses were still in disguise and Curt Swan jumped the gun by drawing them in their own costumes. If you have another explanation, please let me know: Batman asks, "Now where are the real Supergirl and Batgirl?" Superman interjects, "You mean this Batgirl is phoney, too?" Batman replies, "Of course! Batgirl's eyes are blue -- Catwoman's are green!" (Wasn't the fact that she's wearing a Catwoman costume enough of a giveaway?)
"The captive crime-chicks" take the heroes to their own cavern HQ, where Supergirl and Batgirl are shackled to chairs, Supergirl with kryptonite chains. Since Superman can't approach the green K, Batman steps forward to free them. But before he can touch them, a heat beam reduces them to ashes. Suddenly, the real Supergirl and Batgirl arrive, explaining that the mysterious cloud-hand carried them into another dimension and they've only just managed to escape. Supergirl used her heat vision to destroy the dummies in the chairs, because they were gimmicked to send Batman into that other dimension if he touched them.
"Suddenly, an amazing transformation..." as Black Flame and Catwoman change into Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite! Bat-Mite declares that, since his hero Batman didn't fall into the trap, he has won their bet. But Mxyzptlk says that Batman would have fallen into the trap if Supergirl and Batgirl hadn't saved him, so Bat-Mite owes him 100 magic units. Bat-Mite concedes defeat, and writes out a check, which he signs with his real name to make it legal. Mxyzptlk reads, "Your name is Klt Pzy Xm?" and disappears into the fifth dimension. Bat-Mite explains that he only agreed to this bet so that he'd have a chance to trick Mxyzptlk back to his own dimension, and bids the heroes farewell, in what would turn out to be his last in-continuity appearance. (He would next be seen more that a decade later in Bob Rozakis's classic "Bat-Mite's New York Adventure.") "It's been fun!" he says as he leaves, and Batman replies, "As Robin might say, that kind of fun MITE drive us BATTY!"
"The Amazing Cube"
Script: George Kashdan
Art: Bernard Baily
The backup feature in World's Finest during this period was the Editors' Round Table, where different DC editors would choose favorite stories from the archives to reprint. This one first appeared in Tales of the Unexpected #9 (Jan 1957).
In a Las Vegas casino, gambler Harvey Hacker just lost his last dollar at the roulette table. As he's about to leave, he notices an odd-looking man at the craps table, asking for permission to use his own dice. The house decides to allow it after inspecting them and determining that they're not loaded. However, the player never loses while using them!
Harvey follows the stranger, hoping to figure out a way to learn his secret. Driving out of town, the stranger's car is wrecked as an "atomic station" explodes as he's driving past! The stranger begs Harvey to drag him away from the radiation, and Harvey agrees -- IF the stranger will tell him the secret of the dice. The stranger reveals that he carved them from a meteorite, and that he doesn't know why they always come up the way he wants them to. Harvey finds one of the dice, and concludes that the other one was destroyed in the explosion. Reneging on his agreement, he leaves the stranger to die with a casual "So long, sucker!"
Harvey drives home to his little shack, and locks the die in a metal strongbox, planning to have it analyzed by a chemist to see if in can be duplicated. In the middle of the night, he hears a noise. The cube has grown, and burst out of the strongbox. Not sure if he's awake or dreaming, Harvey carries the cube and locks it in a safe. But in the morning, as he drinks his coffee, the safe cracks open, and the cube is still growing! It's soon too big to fit through the doorway. Harvey grabs an axe and tries to chop it to pieces, but the axe breaks. Harvey runs out of the cabin just in time, as the cube fills the entire room, and soon breaks the house apart!
As Harvey wonders if it will ever stop, or just keep growing forever, a giant hand reaches down from above and lifts him into the air.
"What does it mean, Professor?" asks a scientist from the ruined atomic station. His colleague answers, "It seems that, somehow, the atomic radiation had an effect on this piece of carved meteor, making it temporarily give off rays that shrank everything near it!" Harvey drops to his knees and grabs his head as he realizes that the cube didn't grow any larger, but he's now stuck as a miniature man in a normal-sized world.
The cover by Curt Swan and George Klein depicted an unshaven, powerless Superman struggling to help Batman repair a broken-down Batmobile, as Supergirl and Batgirl hide behind a fence, gloating. It looks to me like another case of a cover being designed before the story was written, but judge for yourself.
"The Supergirl - Batgirl Plot"
Script: Cary Bates
Pencils: Curt Swan
Inks: George Klein
As the story opens, Supergirl is flying on patrol over an empty field somewhere between Stanhope College and Gotham City, when a huge cloud in the shape of a human hand appears out of nowhere and tries to grab her. Naturally, her own counterattacks pass through the gaseous creature with no effect, but when it catches her, the vapor is so intensely cold that it makes even her shiver.
At that moment, Gotham's newest crimefighter, the Dominoed Dare-doll, Batgirl, arrives on a Bat-Scooter. She tosses a chemical grenade at the giant fist, but it too has no effect, and the hand scoops her up as well. In desperation, Supergirl focuses her X-ray vision on the chemical residue from Batgirl's bomb. The X-rays alter the chemicals, somehow causing the cloud-hand to explode, and the two new friends congratulate one another on their teamwork.
Later that day, in their sorority house and library office respectively, Linda Danvers and Barbara Gordon watch a televised ceremony honoring Batman and Superman, as trophies of their past cases are placed into a time capsule to be launched into orbit for 500 years. They think, why shouldn't Supergirl and Batgirl get the same glory?
(What was the obsession with time capsules during the Silver Age? I can think of several more DC stories involving time capsules. Was this a fad that I missed in the sixties? Was there a fear that the commie hordes were going to wipe out all our museums and libraries, so that historical records had to be buried or launched into space to preserve them?)
The next day, Superman appears at a public ceremony to place the cornerstone of a new skyscraper -- that's already been built. As he shoves the stone into place, he pushes a bit too hard, and the tower begins to topple toward the crowd. Superman tries to fly up to catch it, but his powers suddenly and inexplicably vanish. Fortunately, Supergirl arrives at that moment to save the crowd. When her cousin's powers return moments later, the two fly off. Superman wonders what caused his powers to fail, and Supergirl thinks to herself that she was responsible, and that "this super-oaf" will soon be "as popular in Metropolis as an anteater in a flea circus."
That evening at Gotham's annual Fair of the Future, the Dynamic Duo corners a desperate criminal atop an atomic reactor. Robin tries to tackle the crook, but stumbles, allowing the fugitive to get him in a hammerlock. Batman thinks that "there's only one way to save Robin;" he drops to his knees and begs for Robin's life. The crook just laughs and throws the Boy Wonder down into the reactor -- but Batgirl arrives on the scene, rescues Robin with a Batrope, and subdues the criminal with a judo flip. Batman and Robin are both puzzled by Batman's compulsion to plead, and Batgirl thinks that "the gallant Caped Crusader will soon find out that his troubles are only beginning!"
A series of similar events over the next few days cause the World's Finest Team to suspect that their female counterparts are somehow behind their troubles, and note that Batgirl is still an unknown quantity. "Holy alter-ego!" Robin comments. "She might be a criminal... maybe even an alien!" Meanwhile, Batgirl and Supergirl, in a hidden cavern miles away, decide that "it's time for Step Two of Operation Take-Over!"
Batman and Robin, returning from an important case, find that the hidden entrance to the Batcave doesn't open as they approach. Parking the Batmobile outside, they enter Wayne Manor and take the elevator down to the cave, only to find it completely empty! At the same time, in the arctic, Superman finds his young cousin carrying his Fortress of Solitude away to a new location. When he confronts her, his powers disappear again, and he plummets into a snowdrift. Hours later, Batman and Robin, flying to the Fortress in the Batplane (which had been hangared somewhere outside the Batcave), spot Superman lying in the snow and give him a ride back to Metropolis. They wonder how Batgirl learned the Batcave's location and emptied it, and whether she is working with Supergirl or has super-powers herself.
The next day, the Dynamic Duo barges into the hideout of a criminal gang they'd been trailing, and makes short work of them. (Personal note: During this fight, Robin's mask somehow vanished from his face. The second letter I ever wrote to a comic was to point out this fact. Yes, I was an 8-year-old boo-boo hunter. The letter wasn't published, but I did receive a nice form letter on sage green paper, answering frequently-asked questions about the Superman Family.) As Batman ties up the gangsters, Robin goes out to the plane to radio Commissioner Gordon. When he doesn't return, Batman goes outside to find him and the plane gone without a sound -- and a Bat-Compact laying on the ground.
Later, Batman drives to Metropolis to find Superman at the side of the road, hitchhiking. His powers gone, his face covered with stubble, and his Clark Kent clothes missing, the Man of Steel had no other means of transportation. Batman drives Superman back to Gotham, planning to stop at Wayne Manor to pick up some things, but when he removes his mask to change to Bruce Wayne he finds that his face now resembles Curt Swan.
The heroes spend the night searching in vain for clues, when one of the Batmobile's supposedly blowout-proof tires gets a flat, and the car slams into a pole. In the scene from the cover, Superman struggles to pump up the tire while Batman notes that even the spare is flat. Suddenly, Supergirl and Batgirl step out from behind a fence and challenge their male counterparts to a showdown. Supergirl dares her cousin to catch her as she flies into space, and with a gesture she restores his powers and even makes his beard disappear. As he flies in pursuit, she hurls a meteor at him. He thinks she's gone crazy, but then his X-ray vision reveals that the meteor has a kryptonite core, making him wonder why she wasn't affected by it. He tosses another meteor at it, knocking it back at her, and it knocks her unconscious -- from the impact, not from the green K. He realizes that she couldn't be the real Supergirl, and surely enough, underneath a face mask and wig, she's really Black Flame, a Kandorian villainess who lost her powers years ago from gold K exposure.
Back on Earth, Batgirl pulls out a Bat-Whistle, which produces sonic vibrations that cause the sign on a tailor shop to break loose. The giant scissors that were part of the display pin Batman's cape to the ground; but he's still able to toss a Batarang, wrapping Batgirl up tight. He removes her mask, to find the face of Selina Kyle -- the Catwoman! ("Meow, Darling!")
Back in the Batcave, the heroes question the villainesses, now dressed in their own costumes. Black Flame explains that she invented a serum to restore her powers and give her immunity to kryptonite, though she was not as invulnerable as before. She used an enlarging spray to escape Kandor, and a brain command ring to make Superman think his powers were gone and that his and Batman's faces had changed, and Catwoman used a special variety of catnip to induce Batman's cowardice.
The next panel confuses me to this day. I think it only makes sense if Cary Bates assumed that the villainesses were still in disguise and Curt Swan jumped the gun by drawing them in their own costumes. If you have another explanation, please let me know: Batman asks, "Now where are the real Supergirl and Batgirl?" Superman interjects, "You mean this Batgirl is phoney, too?" Batman replies, "Of course! Batgirl's eyes are blue -- Catwoman's are green!" (Wasn't the fact that she's wearing a Catwoman costume enough of a giveaway?)
"The captive crime-chicks" take the heroes to their own cavern HQ, where Supergirl and Batgirl are shackled to chairs, Supergirl with kryptonite chains. Since Superman can't approach the green K, Batman steps forward to free them. But before he can touch them, a heat beam reduces them to ashes. Suddenly, the real Supergirl and Batgirl arrive, explaining that the mysterious cloud-hand carried them into another dimension and they've only just managed to escape. Supergirl used her heat vision to destroy the dummies in the chairs, because they were gimmicked to send Batman into that other dimension if he touched them.
"Suddenly, an amazing transformation..." as Black Flame and Catwoman change into Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite! Bat-Mite declares that, since his hero Batman didn't fall into the trap, he has won their bet. But Mxyzptlk says that Batman would have fallen into the trap if Supergirl and Batgirl hadn't saved him, so Bat-Mite owes him 100 magic units. Bat-Mite concedes defeat, and writes out a check, which he signs with his real name to make it legal. Mxyzptlk reads, "Your name is Klt Pzy Xm?" and disappears into the fifth dimension. Bat-Mite explains that he only agreed to this bet so that he'd have a chance to trick Mxyzptlk back to his own dimension, and bids the heroes farewell, in what would turn out to be his last in-continuity appearance. (He would next be seen more that a decade later in Bob Rozakis's classic "Bat-Mite's New York Adventure.") "It's been fun!" he says as he leaves, and Batman replies, "As Robin might say, that kind of fun MITE drive us BATTY!"
"The Amazing Cube"
Script: George Kashdan
Art: Bernard Baily
The backup feature in World's Finest during this period was the Editors' Round Table, where different DC editors would choose favorite stories from the archives to reprint. This one first appeared in Tales of the Unexpected #9 (Jan 1957).
In a Las Vegas casino, gambler Harvey Hacker just lost his last dollar at the roulette table. As he's about to leave, he notices an odd-looking man at the craps table, asking for permission to use his own dice. The house decides to allow it after inspecting them and determining that they're not loaded. However, the player never loses while using them!
Harvey follows the stranger, hoping to figure out a way to learn his secret. Driving out of town, the stranger's car is wrecked as an "atomic station" explodes as he's driving past! The stranger begs Harvey to drag him away from the radiation, and Harvey agrees -- IF the stranger will tell him the secret of the dice. The stranger reveals that he carved them from a meteorite, and that he doesn't know why they always come up the way he wants them to. Harvey finds one of the dice, and concludes that the other one was destroyed in the explosion. Reneging on his agreement, he leaves the stranger to die with a casual "So long, sucker!"
Harvey drives home to his little shack, and locks the die in a metal strongbox, planning to have it analyzed by a chemist to see if in can be duplicated. In the middle of the night, he hears a noise. The cube has grown, and burst out of the strongbox. Not sure if he's awake or dreaming, Harvey carries the cube and locks it in a safe. But in the morning, as he drinks his coffee, the safe cracks open, and the cube is still growing! It's soon too big to fit through the doorway. Harvey grabs an axe and tries to chop it to pieces, but the axe breaks. Harvey runs out of the cabin just in time, as the cube fills the entire room, and soon breaks the house apart!
As Harvey wonders if it will ever stop, or just keep growing forever, a giant hand reaches down from above and lifts him into the air.
"What does it mean, Professor?" asks a scientist from the ruined atomic station. His colleague answers, "It seems that, somehow, the atomic radiation had an effect on this piece of carved meteor, making it temporarily give off rays that shrank everything near it!" Harvey drops to his knees and grabs his head as he realizes that the cube didn't grow any larger, but he's now stuck as a miniature man in a normal-sized world.
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