Action Comics #255: "The Bride Of Bizarro!"

Action Comics #255
"The Bride Of Bizarro!"
August, 1959

Story: Otto Binder
Art: Al Plastino

On a deserted island, Lois Lane is pledging herself to "Superman," who unbeknownst to the girl reporter is the New Bizarro! Lois never dreamed the Man of Steel would propose. Of course she will marry him! Bizarro watches from hiding as the other Bizarro, but with a handsome face prepares to fly for Metropolis, and only he knows that the real Superman is trapped!

The girl reporter suddenly notices how strangely this "Superman" is speaking! She figures this must be Bizarro with his face changed somehow! Bizarro appears and tells Lois the truth! He made this new Bizarro with the duplicator ray machine! Now he is sorry he tricked her! This New Bizarro is not the real Man of Steel! For his part, the New Bizarro points out he is still handsome, and the girl reporter would be lucky if she marries him! Lois says she will never married such a conceited thing! As a matter of fact, she prefers the first Bizarro better than him! The New Bizarro considers her to be foolish if she likes such an ugly monster than him! Now enraged at his own imitation, Bizarro wishes he hadn't made him! Now he will try to destroy him! First, he delivers a super-blow to knock the New Bizarro for a mile! WHAMMM! Naval submarines are having target practice offshore, when the New Bizarro drops into their midst! As the first Bizarro pursues the doublecrossing double, the New Bizarro attempts to destroy his creator by hurling a torpedo!

Old Bizarro is as invulnerable as the Man of Steel! When the New Bizarro tries two torpedos, his creator counters by swinging a big ship to smash him! The submarine crews watch in awe as the two super duplicates of steel engage in a titanic battle! BLAMM KRASH! BOOMMM! In this super-fight, neither opponent is so much as scratched! Back on the island, Lois has located the Man of Steel and tries to free him from his Kryptonite trap! The Kryptonite meteor is too heavy for her to move! Bizarro arrives and kicks it against a boulder! The meteor bursts into dust, which is blown away by the wind! Lois wants to know why Bizarro is saving Superman?

He wants the Man of Steel's help against this New Bizarro! Perhaps by working together, they will be able to overcome it! Once Superman has regained his super-strength, he and his duplicate search in two different directions! He sees the the wind has blown the Kryptonite dust over the New Bizarro, who is disintegrated into nothingness! He wonders if the old Bizarro was immune to Kryptonite, why was this New Bizarro affected by it? As he returns for Lois, Superman explains the New Bizarro was such a perfect imitation of him physically, that he, too was vulnerable to Kryptonite! Back at Metropolis, Bizarro is still at large, and the Man of Steel will have to wait until he returns!

Bizarro enters Lois' apartment with a super-bouquet from the cold planet of Pluto! Now on Earth, the seed pods burst open and hurl the seeds around violently! Her glassware is struck by one such seed! With her apartment now a mess, Lois tells Bizarro to go! She never wants to see him again...never! Now alone, the girl reporter is facing danger from the remaining pods, and the hard-spiked seeds will strike her! Luckily for her, the Man of Steel is out on patrol and stops them from harming her! Once the seed pods are emptied and the danger has passed, Superman flies off in search of Bizarro!

Bizarro dimly recalls his other identity of Clark Kent and enters his apartment by walking through the door! He plans to get close to Lois by donning the mild-mannered reporter's spare clothing and extra pair of ordinary glasses! Now he looks exactly like Clark Kent! The girl reporter will never suspect he is really Bizarro when he arrives at the Daily Planet offices! Using his telescopic-vision to see that Clark is not at his office, Bizarro sees his chance! The Man of Steel is in for a shock when he spots a familiar-looking man and sees Bizarro disguised as Clark, and heading for the office! His double's face will immediately give him away! As a startled guard stops him, Bizarro is about to tell him his name! The Man of Steel super-claps his hands together to produce a false thunderclap, which drowns out Bizarro's voice! CLAP CLAP "Me am Cl... ...nt!" CLAP! CLAP!

Now impatient, Bizarro flies towards the window where Lois is! The Man of Steel uses his heat-vision to burn off Bizarro's outer clothing and melt the glasses, not made of super-plastic! The next moment finds Bizarro standing in his invulnerable super-suit. Lois insists that she said she never wanted to see him again! She is in love with the real Superman, not a lifeless imitation like him! GRRR! If he can't have Lois, the Man of Steel won't marry her either! He will hold her prisoner at the island and fight off Superman! The Man of Steel knows if he attacks Bizarro now, he may drop Lois! He will follow them instead! Now at the island, Bizarro sees Superman coming! He will fight him! If Lois changes her mind about becoming Mrs. Bizarro, she is to wave a white flag as a signal, and he will come back! The Man of Steel and his imperfect double meet over a graveyard of ships! Knowing they are both over the Sargasso Reef, Superman will use any weapons he finds, in case Bizarro has got an unknown "Achilles Heel"!

The Man of Steel finds a power harpoon aboard an old whaling ship and shoots it at Bizarro! This serves only to tickle Bizarro! The imperfect duplicate strikes back with a giant anchor to smash him through the deck! That didn't even muss Superman's hair! He spots an old-time cannon on an old spanish galleon! The power is dry... the guns are loaded... his heat-vision touches off a broadside of cannonballs at Bizarro! It does no good! He might as well be shooting flower petals at him!

Bizarro spots a more modern warship and hides in the cannon. As soon as he sees Superman with his x-ray vision, he will come out and deliver a super-punch! After sighting his quarry, Bizarro smashes the Man of Steel to bits! Unfortunately for Bizarro, it was only a wooden figurehead of Superman, mounted on a ship that was christened after him! The imitation Superman aimed at another imitation of Superman! Lois Lane watches from the island. She knows that neither one can defeat the other! As long as Bizarro fights him, Superman cannot rescue her! The girl reporter suddenly gets an idea! She knows a perfect way to get rid of Bizarro, by using the duplicator ray machine once more! Bizarro stops the fight when he sees Lois' signal that she will marry him!

The Man of Steel receives a shock when he sees Lois rushing for Bizarro! He doesn't want her to do it! After all, perhaps he and she...well... she may be Mrs. Superman! Lois loves him... This "Lois" doesn't love Superman! He is ugly! Bizarro is handsome! She will marry him! Lois used the duplicator ray machine to create her imperfect duplicate! The Bizarros fell in love with one another at first sight! Bizarro and his bride leave Earth to find another world in another solar system! Bizarro-Lois is composed of lifeless matter, so she won't die in outer space! The Bizarros are gone for good! The two imperfect duplicates will be perfectly happy together! Lois will be happy, too, if Superman carries out the promise he blurted out before... The girl reporter has got him pinned down at long last! As he said, he may marry her... SOMEDAY! Which may not be for years! Lois knows she is not as lucky as her imperfect duplicate! Bizarro-Lois got her man right away! "SIGH!"

This story was reprinted in 80 Page Giant #6 (January, 1965).

Like Lois, I like the first Bizarro better than the New Bizarro.

The girl reporter should be used to dreams, hoaxes, and imaginary tales. Lord knows the readers of her title in the Weisinger era were.

Unfortunately for Bizarro, Clark Kent's clothes do not make the man.

The Man of Steel might have wanted to whale the tar out of his imperfect duplicate, but this served only to tickle Bizarro's fancy.

Bizarro managed to deck Superman with a giant anchor, but the Man of Steel proved to have a lot of cannonballs.

The imperfect duplicate figured on smashing Superman to pieces, but failed to take into account a wooden figurehead.

The girl reporter may have finally pinned down the Man of Steel, but he isn't down for the count just yet.

The Earth-2 Superman and Lois Lane were married in Action Comics #484 (June, 1978).

Steve Chung
"The Bride Of Review!"