BRAD: Hello again. This time we've got a daring
space adventure from the Cold War.
WALDO: Forbidden Planet?
RAVEN: Plan 9 From Outer Space?
BRAD: Uh, no. It's a Space Mouse story from
WOODY WOODPECKER &73, Oct. '62. The
giant-sized County Fair issue.
RAVEN: THERE'S your marketing hook.
WOODY: Now here, friends... A treat that's out of
this world! With the giant Radio-Ear
telescope, we can be in on the adventures
of Space Mouse!
BRAD: Take a look at the Universe! Only 25 cents!
RAVEN: Hey, that's right! Most of the New Universe
books are in the quarter boxes!
WOODY: Say, looks like trouble on the Planet
Rodentia!
RADIO: Space Mouse! Report from Cheddar Valley!
Bubble carrying off another farmer!
BRAD: Gotta watch them bubbles. Just ask Greenspan.
NARRATOR: Soon...
SPACE MOUSE: King Size! If there is some super-
intelligence controlling those bubbles, they might
be able to keep track of MY movements, too!
WALDO: You mean they've belled the mouse?
SPACE MOUSE: We can't stop those bubbles from
carrying off our people unless we know what
it is we're fighting... where those bubbles are going!
WALDO: Insufficient Data.
RAVEN: In Indifferent Context.
SPACE MOUSE: So, if it takes a disguise to improve my ,
chances I'll just have to become another potential
victim!
KING SIZE: Take care!
BRAD: Imagine, a spacefaring monarchy.
WALDO: Just like Ministry of Space. With fur.
SPACE MOUSE: Don't worry! I'll keep in radio contact
with you... even if I am now going to be just
a harmless peddler!
BRAD: In his government-issue spaceship...
KING SIZE: I'll have a rescue rocket fleet ready!
RAVEN: With all the Rescue Rangers!
NARRATOR: But days later, still on patrol...
RADIO: Space Mouse... Attention! Another bubble raid...
over at Mousely Farms!
SPACE MOUSE: Oh, why won't they pick on me?
RAVEN: Okay, your mother dresses you funny!
WALDO: That's his disguise.
RADIO: The bubble just appeared out of nowhere and
zoomed off with another farmer!
SPACE MOUSE: Sizzling star-trails! It's just too !
impossible It all happens too fast! I can't ever
get on their trail!
BRAD: A sleek spaceship under a trailer marked, 'junk.'
I'm not sure if that's funny or stupid.
RAVEN: I'M sure.
SPACE MOUSE: (voiceover) I might as well give up!
There's about one chance in ten billion that
one of those bubbles will EVER pick on me!
BRAD: That's your cue, Mr. Welk...
BUBBLE: PLOING!
SPACE MOUSE: Agh! And THIS is the ONE!
RAVEN: They plucked him out of the cornfield.
WALDO: But they won't leave the corn behind.
SPACE MOUSE: (GASP!) Appear out of nowhere is right!
And so strong! It's incredible! Must be a radio
force field using an atomized cohesive moisture
supplement attracted right from the air!
RAVEN: THIS was in a KID'S book?
WALDO: By Gene Roddenberry.
SPACE MOUSE: Space Mouse calling King Size! King Size!
WALDO: I think he's "Venti," these days...
RADIO: CRACKLE! CRACKLE! SPUT! SPUT!
SPACE MOUSE: Ow! Too much interference! Which means
that this bubble must be travelling on a magnetic
wave! (GULP!) ...and there goes my chance for
any radio contact!
WALDO: Not much detail to those passing planets.
BRAD: The monochrome backgrounds are to make
Space Mouse pop out.
RAVEN: Too bad they don't make his bubble pop.
NARRATOR: Finally...
SPACE MOUSE: Why, this is one of the Cloud Planets!
We always thought they were uninhabited!
...Buildings! Who could live in such a
soggy place?
WALDO: Uh-oh.
RAVEN: Not ol' Boxy Shorts!
BRAD: Just wait.
OFFSTAGE SINISTER VOICE: I could, Space Mouse! Ha-Ha!
BRAD: We see a sweaty figure working lab controls
through the miasma.
RAVEN: I use an inhaler for miasma.
SPONGEMAN: But you will never be able to tell King
Size, I fear... until I bring him to join you!
BUBBLE: POP!
SPACE MOUSE: Good grief! Do you know everything?
SPONGEMAN: The skin of the bubble serves as an
excellent thought-gathering antenna!
BRAD: It's a shame Space Mouse didn't last 'til
Star Trek's glory years; they've got the
doubletalk down cold.
SPACE MOUSE: You're one of the ancient Sponge Men,
aren't you? I've read about you fellows, but...
I thought you lived over on the Milky Way!
SPONGEMAN: Not any more! Not ME!
RAVEN: Too many Snickers.
SPONGEMAN: Milk is fine, but I got so tired of being
sopped in it! Over here, in the water
clouds, is the only life for any intelligent
sponge!
RAVEN: If he's a sponge, shouldn't he be porous? And yellow?
WALDO: And live in a pineapple under the sea?
RAVEN: This guy looks like Elmer Fudd as a sweaty squarehead.
SPONGEMAN: With my genius, I shall be a whole one-man
glorious civilization... my bubbles plucking
slaves like you from off your stupid little
planet!
SPACE MOUSE: Well, if you have our people here, you're
letting them go right now, Spongy... 'Cause that's
why I'm here!
BRAD: Call him Space Moses.
SPONGEMAN: Oh, mercy! Such silly heroics! I shall simply
have to bubble you unmercifully!
BRAD: And his wand shoots out bubble after bubble.
BUBBLES: POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
SPACE MOUSE: OW! I CAN'T SEE! STOP!
RAVEN: The bubbles made him squeak.
WALDO: I thought you laughed at danger, mouse.
SPONGEMAN: Drop your gun! You know I can conjure up
bubbles as long as there's moisture in the
air! Heh-heh!
BUBBLES: POP! POP! POP! POP!
SPACE MOUSE: All right!... Oh, I feel groggy! Take me to those
slave pens!
STRAGGLING BUBBLE: POP!
SPONGEMAN: Hah! That's more like it!
BRAD: Looks like Twinkie the Kid in the sauna. Ew.
MOUSE 1: (GASP!) LOOK! He has even captured Space
Mouse!
MOUSE 2: Then all hope is lost!
SPACE MOUSE: Oh-h! Now my head is clearing.
BRAD: Spongeman locks the door.
SPACE MOUSE: Now that Spongy believes I've given up,
will you chums tell me all you know about his setup?
MOUSE 1: We don't know much! All we do is assemble
things according to diagrams!
MOUSE 2: They don't make much sense until he puts
different parts together, I guess.
BRAD: So, he has his high-tech stuff built by...
farmers?
RAVEN: He must make his money on the warranties.
SPACE MOUSE: Hmm... Interesting... but our first bet
is another try for TV or radio contact with
King Size!
MOUSE 2: Your electra-belt looks too banged up to work!
... That's the only reason Spongy let him keep it!
WALDO: Thank you, Roy Thom-mouse.
MOUSE 1: Wait! Space Mouse is getting through!
KING SIZE: Yes Space Mouse, you're coming through! Oh, my
word! Prisoners of a ruthless Spongeman!? On
which cloud planet?
SPACE MOUSE: I don't know, King Size... (crackle-crackle!
sput-sput!) Ow! My electra-belt is going out...
KING SIZE: Now we can't even zero in on his belt beam!
ROCKETMOUSE 1: We'll find them, sire... even if we have to
search every cloud planet!
ROCKETMOUSE 2: There are only twenty or thirty of them!
KING SIZE: We'll each take a couple!
WALDO: Gee, one team for two whole planets. Not overbooking,
are we?
NARRATOR: But, days later...
MOUSE 2: They'll never find us! They might even go to cloud
planets 'way on the other side of the universe!
WALDO: Yeah! That'd take them at least a week!
RAVEN: How can this be a sweatshop, if Sponge-boy's the
only one sweating?
SPACE MOUSE: If I could just get to one of Spongy's radios,
I could beam them in fast!
MOUSE 1: Impossible! Remember how he bubbled you before?
BRAD: Remember it? It made me glad there was only one
Space Mouse cartoon.
MOUSE 2: Those are really gas bubbles! You can't keep
your wits about you when he makes them!
BRAD: Worse than Wakko Warner's.
SPACE MOUSE: Heh... but what if his bubble gun won't work on me?
MOUSE 1: There's so much moisture in the air! He can always
seem to stir up those pesky bubbles!
WALDO: Insert burrito joke.
SPACE MOUSE: But look what I've been making from
some of his electronic parts... a compact little
high-power dehumidifer!
BRAD: Special order for Niles Crane.
MOUSE 1: (Gasp!) you mean to DRY THE AIR?
SPACE MOUSE: Right! The air around ME, so there won't
be enough moisture for his bubble trick... I hope!
MOUSE 2: (Gulp!) We all hope!
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, far across space...
CLOUD PLANET: BONK! CLANK!
ROCKETMOUSE 2: Look out! High mountains on this
cloud planet!
ROCKETMOUSE 1: There's nothing under these clouds
except more clouds! Sire, it's beginning to
look hopeless!
KING SIZE: Oh, does Space Mouse's glorious career
have to end like this?
BRAD: How could it be a glorious career with
such a generic name?
SPONGEMAN: Why did you call, Space Mouse? WHY?
No funny business, now! I warned you!
SPACE MOUSE: It won't be very funny... I hope!
RAVEN: Why start now?
BRAD: And concentric lines emanate from the
dehumidifier.
WALDO: Making him Personal Space Mouse.
SPONGEMAN: I'll teach you! I'll bubble you fiercely!
Take that... and that!
SPACE MOUSE: HAH! See, chums? No bubbles!
WALDO: Thanks to my Magic Coffee Rings!
SPONGEMAN: Agh! Where are they? Why can't I make
bubbles?
RAVEN: Blossom and Buttercup won't let you, perv.
SPACE MOUSE: Heh... my trusty little dehumidifier
is working too well!
BRAD: He's the Thinking Man's Funny-Animal Space Hero.
RAVEN: Yeah, a real Adam Mange.
SPONGEMAN: Oh, no! It's not fair! You're drying the air!
Keep that thing away from me! I'm allergic to
dryness!
SPACE MOUSE: Which makes this a perfect way to
handle sinister sponges... heh... from now on!
WALDO: Space Mouse, call for you on Line One, a Mr.
Plankton.
ROCKETMOUSE 1: A signal! A signal! It's Space Mouse!
BRAD: Calloo, callay, already!
KING SIZE: All ships assemble! It won't be long now!
RAVEN: Thank God.
NARRATOR: And so...
KING SIZE: Humph! He's lucky you didn't dry him up completely!
SPACE MOUSE: He's too great a genius, King Size! This way he'll be glad
to stay home on the Milky Way!
RAVEN: Where he'll stay Forever Young.
BRAD: Okay, obscure candy refs are in bad taste.
SPACE MOUSE: Heh...I convinced him that he'll have a sopping good
time trying to HOMOGENIZE it!
RAVEN: Oh no! This story promotes the Homogenizing Lifestyle!
SPONGEMAN: Hmm... I might even whip up a whipped-cream galaxy!
BRAD: Keep that up and we'll have to build a restaurant at the
end of the universe. -- And that's our story. Raven, Waldo,
any comments?
RAVEN: ...You say there was a cartoon about this mess?
BRAD: There was one animated cartoon about this character
but it's unlikely to be shown these days -- it featured
Siamese cats who talked like Charlie Chan. Despite this
Dell/Gold Key published several stories about Space
Mouse but he just never... took off.
WALDO: Well, I'll say one thing about this story.
BRAD: What's that?
WALDO: It wasn't spongeworthy.
space adventure from the Cold War.
WALDO: Forbidden Planet?
RAVEN: Plan 9 From Outer Space?
BRAD: Uh, no. It's a Space Mouse story from
WOODY WOODPECKER &73, Oct. '62. The
giant-sized County Fair issue.
RAVEN: THERE'S your marketing hook.
WOODY: Now here, friends... A treat that's out of
this world! With the giant Radio-Ear
telescope, we can be in on the adventures
of Space Mouse!
BRAD: Take a look at the Universe! Only 25 cents!
RAVEN: Hey, that's right! Most of the New Universe
books are in the quarter boxes!
WOODY: Say, looks like trouble on the Planet
Rodentia!
RADIO: Space Mouse! Report from Cheddar Valley!
Bubble carrying off another farmer!
BRAD: Gotta watch them bubbles. Just ask Greenspan.
NARRATOR: Soon...
SPACE MOUSE: King Size! If there is some super-
intelligence controlling those bubbles, they might
be able to keep track of MY movements, too!
WALDO: You mean they've belled the mouse?
SPACE MOUSE: We can't stop those bubbles from
carrying off our people unless we know what
it is we're fighting... where those bubbles are going!
WALDO: Insufficient Data.
RAVEN: In Indifferent Context.
SPACE MOUSE: So, if it takes a disguise to improve my ,
chances I'll just have to become another potential
victim!
KING SIZE: Take care!
BRAD: Imagine, a spacefaring monarchy.
WALDO: Just like Ministry of Space. With fur.
SPACE MOUSE: Don't worry! I'll keep in radio contact
with you... even if I am now going to be just
a harmless peddler!
BRAD: In his government-issue spaceship...
KING SIZE: I'll have a rescue rocket fleet ready!
RAVEN: With all the Rescue Rangers!
NARRATOR: But days later, still on patrol...
RADIO: Space Mouse... Attention! Another bubble raid...
over at Mousely Farms!
SPACE MOUSE: Oh, why won't they pick on me?
RAVEN: Okay, your mother dresses you funny!
WALDO: That's his disguise.
RADIO: The bubble just appeared out of nowhere and
zoomed off with another farmer!
SPACE MOUSE: Sizzling star-trails! It's just too !
impossible It all happens too fast! I can't ever
get on their trail!
BRAD: A sleek spaceship under a trailer marked, 'junk.'
I'm not sure if that's funny or stupid.
RAVEN: I'M sure.
SPACE MOUSE: (voiceover) I might as well give up!
There's about one chance in ten billion that
one of those bubbles will EVER pick on me!
BRAD: That's your cue, Mr. Welk...
BUBBLE: PLOING!
SPACE MOUSE: Agh! And THIS is the ONE!
RAVEN: They plucked him out of the cornfield.
WALDO: But they won't leave the corn behind.
SPACE MOUSE: (GASP!) Appear out of nowhere is right!
And so strong! It's incredible! Must be a radio
force field using an atomized cohesive moisture
supplement attracted right from the air!
RAVEN: THIS was in a KID'S book?
WALDO: By Gene Roddenberry.
SPACE MOUSE: Space Mouse calling King Size! King Size!
WALDO: I think he's "Venti," these days...
RADIO: CRACKLE! CRACKLE! SPUT! SPUT!
SPACE MOUSE: Ow! Too much interference! Which means
that this bubble must be travelling on a magnetic
wave! (GULP!) ...and there goes my chance for
any radio contact!
WALDO: Not much detail to those passing planets.
BRAD: The monochrome backgrounds are to make
Space Mouse pop out.
RAVEN: Too bad they don't make his bubble pop.
NARRATOR: Finally...
SPACE MOUSE: Why, this is one of the Cloud Planets!
We always thought they were uninhabited!
...Buildings! Who could live in such a
soggy place?
WALDO: Uh-oh.
RAVEN: Not ol' Boxy Shorts!
BRAD: Just wait.
OFFSTAGE SINISTER VOICE: I could, Space Mouse! Ha-Ha!
BRAD: We see a sweaty figure working lab controls
through the miasma.
RAVEN: I use an inhaler for miasma.
SPONGEMAN: But you will never be able to tell King
Size, I fear... until I bring him to join you!
BUBBLE: POP!
SPACE MOUSE: Good grief! Do you know everything?
SPONGEMAN: The skin of the bubble serves as an
excellent thought-gathering antenna!
BRAD: It's a shame Space Mouse didn't last 'til
Star Trek's glory years; they've got the
doubletalk down cold.
SPACE MOUSE: You're one of the ancient Sponge Men,
aren't you? I've read about you fellows, but...
I thought you lived over on the Milky Way!
SPONGEMAN: Not any more! Not ME!
RAVEN: Too many Snickers.
SPONGEMAN: Milk is fine, but I got so tired of being
sopped in it! Over here, in the water
clouds, is the only life for any intelligent
sponge!
RAVEN: If he's a sponge, shouldn't he be porous? And yellow?
WALDO: And live in a pineapple under the sea?
RAVEN: This guy looks like Elmer Fudd as a sweaty squarehead.
SPONGEMAN: With my genius, I shall be a whole one-man
glorious civilization... my bubbles plucking
slaves like you from off your stupid little
planet!
SPACE MOUSE: Well, if you have our people here, you're
letting them go right now, Spongy... 'Cause that's
why I'm here!
BRAD: Call him Space Moses.
SPONGEMAN: Oh, mercy! Such silly heroics! I shall simply
have to bubble you unmercifully!
BRAD: And his wand shoots out bubble after bubble.
BUBBLES: POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
SPACE MOUSE: OW! I CAN'T SEE! STOP!
RAVEN: The bubbles made him squeak.
WALDO: I thought you laughed at danger, mouse.
SPONGEMAN: Drop your gun! You know I can conjure up
bubbles as long as there's moisture in the
air! Heh-heh!
BUBBLES: POP! POP! POP! POP!
SPACE MOUSE: All right!... Oh, I feel groggy! Take me to those
slave pens!
STRAGGLING BUBBLE: POP!
SPONGEMAN: Hah! That's more like it!
BRAD: Looks like Twinkie the Kid in the sauna. Ew.
MOUSE 1: (GASP!) LOOK! He has even captured Space
Mouse!
MOUSE 2: Then all hope is lost!
SPACE MOUSE: Oh-h! Now my head is clearing.
BRAD: Spongeman locks the door.
SPACE MOUSE: Now that Spongy believes I've given up,
will you chums tell me all you know about his setup?
MOUSE 1: We don't know much! All we do is assemble
things according to diagrams!
MOUSE 2: They don't make much sense until he puts
different parts together, I guess.
BRAD: So, he has his high-tech stuff built by...
farmers?
RAVEN: He must make his money on the warranties.
SPACE MOUSE: Hmm... Interesting... but our first bet
is another try for TV or radio contact with
King Size!
MOUSE 2: Your electra-belt looks too banged up to work!
... That's the only reason Spongy let him keep it!
WALDO: Thank you, Roy Thom-mouse.
MOUSE 1: Wait! Space Mouse is getting through!
KING SIZE: Yes Space Mouse, you're coming through! Oh, my
word! Prisoners of a ruthless Spongeman!? On
which cloud planet?
SPACE MOUSE: I don't know, King Size... (crackle-crackle!
sput-sput!) Ow! My electra-belt is going out...
KING SIZE: Now we can't even zero in on his belt beam!
ROCKETMOUSE 1: We'll find them, sire... even if we have to
search every cloud planet!
ROCKETMOUSE 2: There are only twenty or thirty of them!
KING SIZE: We'll each take a couple!
WALDO: Gee, one team for two whole planets. Not overbooking,
are we?
NARRATOR: But, days later...
MOUSE 2: They'll never find us! They might even go to cloud
planets 'way on the other side of the universe!
WALDO: Yeah! That'd take them at least a week!
RAVEN: How can this be a sweatshop, if Sponge-boy's the
only one sweating?
SPACE MOUSE: If I could just get to one of Spongy's radios,
I could beam them in fast!
MOUSE 1: Impossible! Remember how he bubbled you before?
BRAD: Remember it? It made me glad there was only one
Space Mouse cartoon.
MOUSE 2: Those are really gas bubbles! You can't keep
your wits about you when he makes them!
BRAD: Worse than Wakko Warner's.
SPACE MOUSE: Heh... but what if his bubble gun won't work on me?
MOUSE 1: There's so much moisture in the air! He can always
seem to stir up those pesky bubbles!
WALDO: Insert burrito joke.
SPACE MOUSE: But look what I've been making from
some of his electronic parts... a compact little
high-power dehumidifer!
BRAD: Special order for Niles Crane.
MOUSE 1: (Gasp!) you mean to DRY THE AIR?
SPACE MOUSE: Right! The air around ME, so there won't
be enough moisture for his bubble trick... I hope!
MOUSE 2: (Gulp!) We all hope!
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, far across space...
CLOUD PLANET: BONK! CLANK!
ROCKETMOUSE 2: Look out! High mountains on this
cloud planet!
ROCKETMOUSE 1: There's nothing under these clouds
except more clouds! Sire, it's beginning to
look hopeless!
KING SIZE: Oh, does Space Mouse's glorious career
have to end like this?
BRAD: How could it be a glorious career with
such a generic name?
SPONGEMAN: Why did you call, Space Mouse? WHY?
No funny business, now! I warned you!
SPACE MOUSE: It won't be very funny... I hope!
RAVEN: Why start now?
BRAD: And concentric lines emanate from the
dehumidifier.
WALDO: Making him Personal Space Mouse.
SPONGEMAN: I'll teach you! I'll bubble you fiercely!
Take that... and that!
SPACE MOUSE: HAH! See, chums? No bubbles!
WALDO: Thanks to my Magic Coffee Rings!
SPONGEMAN: Agh! Where are they? Why can't I make
bubbles?
RAVEN: Blossom and Buttercup won't let you, perv.
SPACE MOUSE: Heh... my trusty little dehumidifier
is working too well!
BRAD: He's the Thinking Man's Funny-Animal Space Hero.
RAVEN: Yeah, a real Adam Mange.
SPONGEMAN: Oh, no! It's not fair! You're drying the air!
Keep that thing away from me! I'm allergic to
dryness!
SPACE MOUSE: Which makes this a perfect way to
handle sinister sponges... heh... from now on!
WALDO: Space Mouse, call for you on Line One, a Mr.
Plankton.
ROCKETMOUSE 1: A signal! A signal! It's Space Mouse!
BRAD: Calloo, callay, already!
KING SIZE: All ships assemble! It won't be long now!
RAVEN: Thank God.
NARRATOR: And so...
KING SIZE: Humph! He's lucky you didn't dry him up completely!
SPACE MOUSE: He's too great a genius, King Size! This way he'll be glad
to stay home on the Milky Way!
RAVEN: Where he'll stay Forever Young.
BRAD: Okay, obscure candy refs are in bad taste.
SPACE MOUSE: Heh...I convinced him that he'll have a sopping good
time trying to HOMOGENIZE it!
RAVEN: Oh no! This story promotes the Homogenizing Lifestyle!
SPONGEMAN: Hmm... I might even whip up a whipped-cream galaxy!
BRAD: Keep that up and we'll have to build a restaurant at the
end of the universe. -- And that's our story. Raven, Waldo,
any comments?
RAVEN: ...You say there was a cartoon about this mess?
BRAD: There was one animated cartoon about this character
but it's unlikely to be shown these days -- it featured
Siamese cats who talked like Charlie Chan. Despite this
Dell/Gold Key published several stories about Space
Mouse but he just never... took off.
WALDO: Well, I'll say one thing about this story.
BRAD: What's that?
WALDO: It wasn't spongeworthy.
