All American Men of War #57
"Lame Duck Glider!"
May, 1958
Story: Unknown
Art: Russ Heath
RATATAT! RATATAT! The pilot and copilot see that an FW is closing in on
their glider. Being a craft made of plywood and fabric -- with no motor
or weapons -- at a speed no better than a bicycle, what were the chances
of this "Lame Duck Glider!"
BRATTATTAT Although they haven't got any guns, the FW has more than
enough. BRATTA BRAT The FW has a motor, while they don't. BRATTATAT
The copilot knows that they're in a cardboard box with wings -- a lame
duck! VROOOM The FW is doing about 300 -- while they are in position at
40! VIP VIP VIP The copilot suddenly remembers that they do have guns
among their cargo. Joe tells Marty that the FW is coming for another
pass. RIIIP! After breaking through the glass, Marty opens fire. BUDDA
BUDDA
BUDDA BUDDA The FW is flying in for an expected kill, but soon finds
itself under 30 cal. fire... BRATATATAT! The lame duck glider continues
to pour it on. With their cardboard glider full of holes, they won't be
able to remain aloft for long. The pilot remembers when they're asked
how do they manage to bring the glider back. This time may be a
different story. The lame duck glider makes a pancake landing, with much
of the tail section missing. It bounces along on the ground... filled
with holes which run like a sieve. THUMP! It comes to a halt at the top
of a hill. How will they be able to bring this glider back?
The breeze will send it down the hill, where they'll remove the wheels,
and hopefully there will be enough left to be salvaged. BLAM WHAM
Marty and Joe soon find themselves at the center of some unwanted
attention. KLANK! KLANK! KLANK! An 88 on armored treads is heading
their way, with nothing but a lame duck to dash into. BRAM The two men
are not about to have some tank smash up their cardboard box just like
that. BLAM Inside the lame duck, Marty and Joe find some more useful
cargo. The bazooka is assembled, but a pause is necessary before firing.
BAM! They'll have only one shot -- with the 88 getting too close for
comfort. CLANKETY-CLANK! When Joe asks, Marty insists that the tank
looks like there's about a mile's worth of distance. When the target
looks about as big as a beetle, the okay is sounded, and the bazooka
roars to life. BLAM There's now one less beetle to worry about. VIP
VIP VIP The lame duck is under fire once more. POW! BRRRRRP! POW! A
Nazi infantry has appeared at the bottom of the hill, shooting the chocks
from under their grounded glider. They're now moving!
BUDDA BUDDA The lame duck will have a flashy finish, but while Marty
continues to fire, Joe is ready to toss some grenades. POW! POW! POW!
POW! After three mighty heaves from Joe, it's WHAM! BLAM! WHAM! for
the Nazi infantry. Marty doesn't want to leave the glider, but Joe
remembers that there's still a jeep inside of her. After towing their
lame duck to the base, the other soldiers discover just how they manage
to bring their gliders back.
The Grand Comics Database doesn't have this particular issue listed, but
it's a worthy read, indeed.
Between the art of Russ Heath and the sound effects, there's a lot to
enjoy in a scant six pages.
A clever use of colors from orange, to green, to red helps to heighten
the tension as the two men strive to land their lame duck glider.
The lame duck is out of the frying pan, and sends the FW into the 30 cal.
fire.
It's a tankless job for Joe and Marty when the 88 shows up.
No sooner is one threat disposed of, that another burps up from below.
After plenty of heaving, it's WHAM!, BLAM!, WHAM!, and thank you, ma'am.
Thanks to a trusty jeep in the cargo, the lame duck glider is able to
make its way home.
Steve Chung
"Lame Duck Review!"
Far from being helpless, they manage to show the 88 that it's beetle
season, not duck season.
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