ACTION COMICS #387; April 1970; DC Comics; Mort Weisinger, editor, E. Nelson
Bridwell, assistant editor; in which "Even A Superman Dies!" Or does he?
It looks like it on the cover by Swan and Anderson, on which a super-aged
Superman lies on a table being examined by a medical robot which declares, "It's
no use...I cannot revive Superman! He is over ONE MILLION YEARS OLD....in
minutes he'll turn to dust!" A couple of human bystanders conclude, "If the
Healer failed, NO ONE can save him!"
Review by Bill Henley
In the previous two issues of ACTION and my previous two reviews, we saw how
Superman made a trip into the future in a defective Time Bubble and found
himself physically aging but nonetheless seemingly immortal and (thanks to the
evil Time Trapper) unable to travel backwards in time to his home era of 1970
A.D. Last issue, he was relegated to a "Home for Old Super-Heroes" and led
its inmates in a mission to save future Metropolis, but kept traveling into
the future in an attempt to find some purpose in his seemingly eternal life.
On the splash page of this story (by Cary Bates, Curt Swan, and an inker I
can't quite pin down, though it might be Jack Abel), he has found a purpose
indeed, as he singlehandedly splits a dried-out, dead Earth like an orange. "I
lived on after my home world Krypton exploded, and now I'm still alive when
Earth is a lifeless sphere! I've outlived TWO PLANETS! So I'll perform my
LAST super-deed....and my GREATEST...."
It is the year 801,970 A.D., and "Deep within the Milky Way galaxy",
Superman, flying through space, finds a string of five astronauts floating frozen in
icy spheres. He deduces that the spheres are serving as lifeboats after a
space crash, and rescues the spacefarers by pulling them towards a freak
"rainbow sun" which thaws them out. But our hero gets little satisfaction from
his feat; "This would have thrilled me ONCE, an eternity ago! Now, even the
most spectacular feats don't give me a charge! I'm just too tired of DOING MY
THING!" After being freed from their "preservo-spheres", the astronauts (who
are mere spring chickens by comparison, having been in the deep freeze only
5,000 years) pelt the Man of Steel with questions, but the grouchy old
Supercurmudgeon flies off without answering; "The ANSWERS are too painful for me to
talk about! I can only MOVE ON!" But despite the pain, Superman remembers
(and fills in new readers on) how he got in this situation, moving endlessly
forward in time looking for some kind of fulfillment, unable to return
backwards, as the gloating Time Trapper looks on.
Arriving at a time a full million years after his origin, Superman checks
out how Earth is doing and is shocked to discover that "After a million years
of pollution, war, and untold abuses from MAN....Earth has been simply USED
UP! It's just a contaminated globe of WASTE MATERIAL now!" Worse yet, a
couple of gigantic planet-sized robots approach Man's old homeworld; "Dead Planet
446 directly ahead!" The robots are helpfully marked (in 20th century
English script), "Galactic Sanitation Dept." But jaded though he may be, Superman
will have none of this; "Contaminated or not, Earth is still MY planet, and
I'm not going to see it DEMOLISHED for some 'Keep Space Beautiful' campaign!"
The robots are too large for even Superman to halt by brute force, so he
does an inside job, entering one of the robots' innards and using its components
to create an "ultra-battery" and creates a "super-positive charge" from
Supes' heat-vision energy. Then he enters the other robot and does the same
thing, creating another "super-positive charge". The result, since like charges
repel each other, is that both robots are hurled far into space in opposite
directions. With Earth saved from the immediate threat of the cosmic
trashcan, "Now to see if I can't give Earth some NEW LIFE-- and a NEW LOOK!"
Superman drills through the Earth thousands of times until it splits in half as per
the splash page. Why? Because though the Earth's internal fires have died
out, the minerals at the Earth's core are "fresh and uncontaminated". Fusing
the two half-spheres together at one edge, Superman creates a weird looking
planet (even weirder than the square Bizarro World) but one with a vast
expanse of two circular flat surfaces which can be made habitable for life again.
"Scouring a dozen planets in mere minutes", Superman finds one with the
right type of atmosphere for his New Earth and sucks it up to get the job done;
"It's a bit of a strain, but my lungs are strong enough to suck in this entire
cloud and compress it under SUPER-PRESSURE!" After supplying his new world
with air, Supes travels to still more worlds to collect water, plant life,
and finally animal life; "I'll have to restore the BALANCE OF NATURE on Earth!
I must choose only species of ALIEN ANIMALS that can exist and multiply in
the environment I've created. (The story doesn't specify how long this whole
process takes, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was six days....) Finally,
visiting a "young planet still in its prehistoric age", our hero finds it
inhabited by humanoids similar to primitive Earth-humans, and abducts a young
couple to become the progenitors of his new world. "Now, like ADAM and EVE,
that primitive couple will start another human race! I've given Earth a second
chance to flourish and prosper!"
(Maybe the Earth will, Supes, but I don't know about your new humans. The
Book of Genesis notwithstanding, two people isn't much of a gene pool to
repopulate a planet with. The children of your Adam and Eve are going to have to
resort to incest in order to "be fruitful and multiply", and any recessive
genes will run riot. I think you've gone senile after a million years, Supes,
if you think this plan to "repopulate the Earth" will work. And I don't even
want to think about the gravitational and orbital effects of that
sliced-apple Earth of yours.)
But as far as Superman is concerned, a brief satisfaction with his work is
quickly replaced by renewed despair; "There's NOTHING left for me to do now!
I've just performed the ULTIMATE feat of my super-career! All I can look
forward to now is an eternity of BOREDOM!" Perhaps not, for as he flies
dispiritedly through space a small purple spacecraft shaped like a grappling hook
comes up behind our hero; "SUPERMAN! We've searched a million years and
countless worlds for this moment! Now is the time for the KILL!" And the
spacecraft fires a blast of radiation through Superman's chest, leaving him
floating inert in space. "What is this strange, pint-size spacecraft? How could it
doom the immortal champion who was so invulnerable he apparently COULDN'T
die?" The answer lies in the distant past of the year 2000, where we find an
aged Lex Luthor visiting a "shrine" to Superman (probably the same Superman
museum that Perry White runs). Though the rest of the world has presumed
Superman dead for three decades, Luthor is convinced the Man of Steel still lives
somewhere in space or somewhen in time. And Luthor is still determined to be
the one to end Superman's life, even if he himself has to die before he
accomplishes this. When Luthor does die, shortly afterward, his "evil
psyche-energy" is drawn from his corpse to power his last invention, the "killer drone"
spacecraft which sets off across space on its million-year-long search for
Superman. Along the way, the drone powers itself by picking up additional
"evil psyche-force" from other bad hats such as executed criminals. (I guess
even Eveready batteries aren't enough to keep the drone going a million
years.) And it is this drone which has apparently blasted Superman to death-- not
realizing that, from the hero's point of view, it has done Superman a
tremendous favor rather than fulfilling Luthor's ancient vengeance.
But there's always someone around to gum up the works.... A spacegoing
robotic healeer detects a faint heartbeat in Superman's floating body, takes him
aboard its space station and struggles to fan the embers of life before
Superman can truly die and crumble to dust. The cover scene turns out to be a
cheat, as the robot healert actually succeeds in reviving Superman, but gets no
thanks from him. "I saved your life!" "WHAT? Why did you do a fool thing
like that? I'm over a million years old....I've outlived everything and
everybody I cared about.... I WANTED to die!" In "blind fury", Superman streaks
away from the space station in pursuit of a deadly "magnor-comet" which will
"disintegrate EVERYTHING in its path-- even YOU1" "That'll suit me FINE!"
(And so Superman sets out to literally commit suicide-- not just welcome a
natural death, or take on a super-foe hoping to die in battle, as Karate Kid of
the Legion once did.) As Superman flies toward the comet the killer drone
zeroes in on him again, but both are caught up in the backwash of the comet, and
while the drone is destroyed, Superman remains intact but is swept
irresistibly forward in time. 'I've traveled through the time-barrier before....but
nothing like this! I can't stop! I'll keep going until the END OF TIME!"
Superman blacks out, and when he regains consciousness he awakens to a most
unexpected sight....his Kryptonian mother Lara reaching out to him, with his
fathe Jor-El at her side. But when he tries to speak the words that come out
are those of the toddler Kal-El, begging to play with the puppy Krypto rather
than be put down for a nap. The plea is to no avail, and when little Kal
drifts off the sleep, he reawakens years later reliving the life of Superboy in
Smallville. Another blackout, and now young man Clark Kent is applying to
Perry White for a Daily Planet job. And so, the Man of Steel relives his life
until he reaches Jan. 12, 1970, the date on which he left on his ill-fated
time trip. "Will I have to do that AGAIN?" No, for he finds that the defective
Time-Bubble has already disappeared into the future. "Many scientists
believe that time CURVES BACK on itself-- that somewhere the past and future MEET!
I've just proved it! I went so far into the FUTURE, I reached my own PAST!
And I got a SECOND CHANCE, just as I gave Earth a second chance in the
future!"
This storyline combined considerable pathos and vast historical sweep with a
fair bit of good old Weisingerian silliness. I wonder if Weisinger
consciously saw it as symbolizing time and change with his own impending retirement
and the passing of the Superman comics on into other hands. Anyway, the story
raises a lot of questions that aren't really answered. Does Superman go on
living the rest of his life while still remembering his million-year-long
existence as an "immortal"? Considering all the time he spent being lonely and
mourning his old friends, especially Lois Lane, wouldn't you think he'd have
done something to develop a warmer relationship with her? Does his
experience mean that even without traveling forward in time, he is doomed to be
immortal and outlive his friends?
Also in this issue of ACTION is a Legion of Super-Heroes story which was
also intended as an ending of sorts, though it didn't turn out to be a permanent
one. The story is "One Hero Too Many!", and as I recall without digging out
my Legion index volume it was written by E. Nelson Bridwell and drawn by Win
Mortimer and Jack Abel. On the splash panel, a monitor board shows the
entire membership of the Legion at that point-- 26 members-- with a heading, "One
of these members will leave the Legion-- TODAY!" As the story opens, the
Legion is gifted with an experimental "warp-transport" device which enables
Karate Kid, the current Legion leader, to step onto a world a million
light-years away as if he were stepping into another room. But when he returns, the
most ominous, menacing figure imaginable appears with him. No, not an alien
monster from the faraway world.... not one of the Legion's old foes like
Mordru or Tharok or the Time Trapper.... something much worse than any of those.
He is recognized as "Wayland Banning, head of Earth's Bureau of Revenue and
Taxation", and he announces he has come to make sure the Legion is able to
pay the taxes on their new "warp-transport" gift before they accept it. Taxes?
What taxes? "But the Legion is a tax-free organization!" Karate Kid
protests. Not any more, for the current Legion totals 26 members, and "according
to Earth's law, all private clubs with more than 25 active members must pay
taxes!" And the Legion's status as a deputized "law-enforcement" group makes
no difference. The generous taxman gives the Legion 24 hours to either drop
on member and get down to the 25-member limit, or pay all its back taxes. (By
the way, the warp-transport device must have had some bugs in it-- I don't
think we ever saw it again, and the Legion continued to use tried but true
space cruisers when they went on missions to faraway worlds.)
And so, not having billions in back tax money to spare, the Legion is left
with the choice of which member to blackball. Timber Wolf nobly volunteers to
leave, on the grounds that he is the most recent member to join, but is
challenged by Chemical King (remember him?) who notes that he and TW joined at
the same time. The aggressive Wolf wrestles CK and juggles him in the air to
prove that he, Wolf, should have the right to quit, and then Bouncing Boy
bounces in declaring that his bouncing power is the "least useful" in the Legion
and he should go. Duo Damsel declares, "My power to split into two girls
isn't so hot!" (I think she has a point there) and volunteers to go. At this
point Karate Kid gets cheesed off and smashes the leader's rostrum with a
karate chop. "So you all want to be noble and hand in your resignations, eh?
Well, they're NOT ACCEPTED! If I let you all quit, we'[ll lose too much of our
strength at once!" BB suggests that as leader Karate Kid should be the one
to choose a member to drop, but KK refuses the responsibility, proposing to
leave the decision to chance. He invites all the members who are willing to
quit to write out their resignations and put them in a jar so that the choice
can be made by lot. But when KK tries to pull a paper out of the jar, the
slips are consumed in "rainbow fire". The only surviving resignation is that
of Dream Girl, who says she didn't resign, since she saw a vision of herself
on a Legion mission in the future. Several Legionnaires claim to have been
responsible for the rainbow flames and demand the right to resign.
Brainiac 5 proposes a new method of choosing who goes; his super-computer
will determine which Legionnaire performed the fewest super-feats in the past
year. The answer is Brainiac 5 himself, but the other members refuse to
accept his resignation; "You may not do many great feats, but the Legion depends
on your planning and inventions!" Supergirl, making a rare appearance at a
Legion meeting, proposes that by the standard of absenteeism she should be the
one to resign. Brainy is crushed by this idea, since he has a crush on
Supergirl, but she tells him, "We belong to different worlds...different eras!
Goodbye!" Suddenly, however, the Legion of Super-Pets (!) show up, and they
warn that if Supergirl leaves the human-type Legion, both Streaky the Supercat
and Comet the Superhorse will quit the Pet Legion as well, since they are
Supergirl's pets. "See, Supergirl? If you walk out, we lose TWO out of the
FIVE members of the Super-Pets! We can't let that happen!" Brainy proposes
that he reprogram his computer to determine which Legionnaire is "least helpful"
to the group. But when he tries to get an answer, a bolt of Kryptonite
energy from the computer's defense mechanism strikes Superboy. The Boy of Steel
confesses that he is the one who sabotaged the other resignation attempts,
because he wants to be the one to quit.... and when he hands in his
resignation, Karate Kid reluctantly accepts it. Superboy refuses to explain his reasons
for leaving to the group, but when Duo Damsel meets him on the way out, he
admits to her that he felt expendable because Mon-El has all his powers
without his Kryptonite weakness, and also because "I don't belong in this century!"
The same applies to Supergirl, of course, but Superboy didn't want her to
leave because of Brainiac's attraction to her. And so Superboy leaves for the
20th century for good, after giving Duo Damsel (who has a crush of her own
on him) a parting hug and kiss. The remaining Legionnaires create a golden
statue of Superboy, "the greatest super-hero," and when Brainy is asked who the
computer picked as the "least helpful Legionnaire", he says, "I cut it off
BEFORE it made its decision! Now, I don't WANT to know!" (My money's still
on Duo Damsel. Or maybe Chemical King, if only because nobody, including the
writers, ever understood how his power worked.)
Presumably the editorial thinking here was that since the Legion had been
demoted to backup status behind Superman in ACTION, there was no longer any
need to have Superboy as a regular Legionnaire in order to help the Legion carry
its own title. Superboy's resignation turned out to be relatively
short-lived, however. A few issues of ACTION later, new editor Murray Boltinoff
dropped the Legion from ACTION altogether-- but then moved the strip into the
SUPERBOY title itself, and by 1973 the Legion took over SUPERBOY. It would have
looked odd for Superboy not to appear at all in the title that was still
nominally his own, and so he rejoined the Legion.
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